Retail Hell Memories: Where are the turleys?


Jason 005

From u/Mylovekills Tales From Retail:

I don't work there anymore, but I ran the tools and hardware departments at a home improvement warehouse. I was there for a few years, usually loved it. I'm in Las Vegas, and it being Vegas, we are a very diverse community. Very few people are from here. Different regions of this country, and different countries, have very different ways of saying the same thing. (We all know this!) So when I don't know what you're talking about, I ask. Usually, people are understanding and explain, word it different, something. Not ThisGuy!

I was standing at my desk, in hardware, with the key cutter right there, doorknobs in the aisle to my right, nuts and bolts in the aisle to my left. TG comes marching up, stops about 15 feet away, and as soon as I looked at him, before I could even say hi...

TG: just demanded Where are the turleys?!

Me: I'm sorry, the what?

TG: The turleys.

Me: I'm not sure what that is.

TG: getting frustrated, starting to get red faced You know a turley!?

Me: not a clue! No, what's a turley? What's it for?

TG: he's almost purple Oh my God, turleys, TURLEYS!

Me: I get that, but just saying the exact same word over and over isn't helping...

TG: practically screaming, veins starting to pop out in his forehead a turley, you know! Those things you crap in!!

Me: the light from above shining down, bells, whistles, balloons, confetti (I wish) Oh you mean toilets, toy-lets!! Well did you need one to crap in at home? Or do you need to crap now?

TG: very calmly I need to buy one.

I told him where they were, (if he would've taken 2 steps towards me, and looked to his right, he would've seen them!) he went on his way. No complaints from him, surprisingly.












Old People Hell: “Can’t you just look it up with my social?!”


Carolanne 034

From u/asap4ever Tales From Retail:

I work at one of the large home improvement stores, usually at the return desk. The way our system is set up, we can look up a purchase if the customer has the receipt (obvi), if they don’t have the receipt we can look it up with the credit or debit card they paid with, their checking acct number if it was a check, their phone number if they gave it to the cashier at the time of purchase, or their member card if it was scanned at the time of purchase. I’ll be me (duh) & she’s old lady (OL)

Me: Hey, how can I help you?

OL: I need to return these bulbs

Me: ok, do you have your receipt?

OL: annoyed no, I don’t have my receipt

Me: ..ok, how long have you had them?

OL: I don’t know!

Me: Do you have a member card?

OL: more annoyed No I don’t!

Me: dying inside well how did you pay for them?

OL: I don’t remember! shoves bulbs further across counter can’t you just look it up with my social?!

o_O ...where would we have even gotten your social from? 😭 I mean do you just causally give your social out at every store you go to? 😂🤦🏾‍♀️







Monstrous Customers: *You* broke them!



From u/Claxton916  Tales From Retail:

I work at a big box retail store that's pretty exclusively in the Midwest, specifically I'm in flooring/window treatments. Our store's policy on returns is that we accept everything unless it's like a bucket of mortar that you used half of. We are willing to take blinds back even if we cut them, we just defect them out immediately.

I'm pretty good at what I do, I rarely break blinds because I know how to handle them properly.

Today a lady came in with blinds that were already cut, but she told me she needed another half inch removed off it. She practically shoved the blinds into my arms and walked away.

As I opened the box I saw that the aluminum slats were bent in such a manner that A) They're unusable, at least in a good home. B) They won't fit into my trimmer.

I went to see if I had another blind to replace it, but there were none on the shelf and an out of stock tag was in place so I went to my computer to see if maybe I have some in order or if another store has them, but unfortunately no.

I went back to the aisle where I began to tell the lady that because her blinds were bent I couldn't cut them, I was about to tell her she could still return them for a full refund before she cut me off and in an exaggerated tone said "you broke them, they weren't broken when I came here."

I told her that I'm sure I didn't break them.

"I spend THOUSANDS of dollars here. I'm going to talk to your manager about this, what's your name." She bitched

"My name is u/Claxton916, unfortunately my manager is not in the department so you'll have to go to the front and talk to a GM there."

"I will"

"Alright you have fun and a good evening ma'am."

All she wanted was a full refund and to return them, but she didn't think she could so she blew it out of proportion.

I know I'm not gonna get in trouble because in the 7.5 months of working here I have never once had a complaint about me from a guest.







Cashier Hell: Trust me, the bag is going to break


Jason 029z

From u/Adhara27 Tales From Retail:

This story actually happened today at about 7 a.m. I was at the hardware store ringing up a gentleman who was purchasing roughly 100 separate items for a plumbing job. I tend to be very organized while bagging (if time allows) and stowed all of the PVC elbows and tees in a bag, and put the bigger items (metal plates, receptacles, etc) into another bag.

When I was finally done ringing up the roughly $300 transaction the guy's friend comes up with a few more items. No problem, I ring him up and make a move to bag the items.

Him: you can just put those in the bag with the elbows.

Me: Well the metal edges tend to cut the bags, sir. I was going to put them in their own double bag.

He had five metal plates, a tad too much for the already large PVC bag. But no. He insisted that I bag them together and no, I didn't need to double bag because that was just more trash.

Me: Okay sir, but I'd suggest you get to the truck fast. That bag is going to bust.

Him: Nah, it'll make it!

I ring up his purchase, hand him the receipt, and he takes the bag. Literally, as he steps away, the whole thing shreds open and the numerous PVC bits go bouncing across the floor. I'm not kidding, there were at least 80. They went everywhere. After a beat, the man looked at me, laughed, and said,

Him: You were exactly right.

I just laughed, helped him pick up the bits and rebagged them. He kindly asked me to put the metal plates in a separate bag this time.