Years ago I was working at a well known toy store chain with an overpriced electronics section. A kid comes in, obviously stoned out of his mind, smells terrible and wearing a shirt with profanity all over the front. I'm not judgmental of people, there's all sorts of walks of life, but there's a right and wrong way to look when you're in his situation.
We'll call him SK, for stoned kid. I'll be me, M. And coworker can be CW.
Let's begin. I'm in the back room, unpacking our most recent shipment. Coworker pops his head in the door.
CW- There's a guy out here asking about a résumé. I'm having some trouble figuring out what he needs, can you give it a go?
I come out of the back and I'm immediately greeted by this kid and his body odor.
M- Hey there, how can I help you?
SK- I need a résumé.
M- I mean, if someone submitted it, I can't just hand that out, there's usually personal information on there. Is it yours? Do you need it back?
SK- No, I need one. I don't have one with me.
M- (suspicious at this point) Wait, so you want someone's résumé? For what?
SK- So I can work here! I need one to turn in.
M- So...you want me to get you a résumé so you can turn it in with your name on it?
SK- Uh, YEAH, obviously! That's how résumés work!
M- (That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works) No, you type your own resume, with your own work experience on it.
SK- Wait, I gotta type it?? How am I supposed to know what kind of information to put on it so I can work here??
SK- What if I bring a résumé from somewhere else?
M- Wait, do you mean an application? Something you fill out?
SK- No, I mean a résumé.
M- (done at this point) Ok, well you can go online and look at example résumés, make your own and bring it in and we can take a look. But I can get you an application, so you can fill it out and attach your résumé.
SK- How do I attach a résumé?
M- A stapler will work fine.
SK- Oh, ok.
Fast forward towards the end of my shift. SK comes back.
SK- Hey man, I brought my résumé.
M- Great, let's take a look.
SK pulls a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket and hands it to me. I smooth and flatten it out on the counter. It's an application for the Red Robin in the mall next door.
M- This isn't for our store, this is for Red Robin.
SK- Yeah but you said to get one like it and you'd look at it.
SK- Well this is my résumé and I lost the application. So can you interview me?
M- (looking at the crumpled application) Tell you what, we'll give you a call...
SK- Ok, I'll come back.
After further inspection on his "résumé", SK wanted $19/hr (minimum wage was $6.25 at the time) and under reasons he was qualified to work there he just put "I play games." Even the application reeked of pot.
Needless to say, he was not called for an interview.