Toxic Managers: The Tale of Dudebro the Manager



Hey there, folks! Stepford Snarker here with another tale of terror. Submitted for your approval, I present to you the tale of Dudebro.

There's some managers you enjoy working with. They're decent, reasonable people who actually give a damn about the people they work with. These managers are a rarity. There's managers who are a pain in the ass to deal with, but they're still tolerable enough that you force yourself suck it up. And then there's some managers who are so idiotic, so incompetent, so utterly and competely ill-suited for their job that everyone has only one question: “How the hell did he get to be a manger?”

Dudebro was definitely the third type. Now, normally I try to be nice. I give most people in my stories regular names as pseudonyms. But in this case, “Dudebro” is the most apt thing I can call this man. Picture, if you will, an overgrown frat boy cliché: the spiky blonde hair, the tribal tattoo, the tendency to casually say stuff like “Say, girl” and mean it.  Are you cringing yet?

Dudebro, despite being in his early thirties at the very least, acted like he was still in college and expected the pledges-- ahem, sorry, employees-- to pick up the slack. Whatever personal squabbles that existed between employees and departments, the one thing everyone could agree on was that Dudebro did not belong in the position of manager.

In the mornings, if he was the opening manager, he would sit in the back office and eat a leisurely breakfast, taking his sweet time if he were called to the front for anything. Once he finished his lunch, he'd wander off ostensibly to assist in getting the stock onto the floor. Again, he would take his time in returning to the registers if he was needed. Other managers, including our head manager, when faced with the same situation, would simply hand over their badge to one of us (usually me) to scan for OCTOCAROL-265overrides and voids to avoid having to be called up for anything short of more money needed or a serious emergency. But, no, that was no good to Dudebro. Instead, it meant waiting a good five minutes or more for him to slowly saunter up to the front of the store if anything rang up for the wrong price, needed to be returned, etc.  This was a standard day of working with Dudebro; at least once, I expected one of the hyper-competent or ultra-twitchy managers to snap and tell Dudebro to work elsewhere.  Sadly, that never happened.

I cannot count the number of times Dudebro attempted to do some simple work-related task and finally voluntold me to do it. And it was always done with this big phony smile and sugary-sweet tone, like I should be happy to do his work for him. And in case you think I'm exaggerating, he actually flat-out said this on one occasion: “I'm so glad you're working today, Stepford! It means I don't have to do anything.” I positively hated working with him because it effectively meant that I was stuck doing my work and a good chunk of his, as well. (Not to mention that most days, I was effectively doing the work of multiple people to begin with, as I mentioned in my post about quitting.)

This story has a happy ending, luckily. After several months of Dudebro's sheer incompetence, he ended up quitting, supposedly to work at a friend's brewpub. His replacement, who started not too long before I left, was a much better person to work with: intelligent, friendly, and infinitely more competent.

---Stepford Snarker




Retail Balls: Store Manager Unleashes on Monstrous Customer



Always awesome to see a store manager take down a monstrous customer....

From CaptainOso06, Tales From Retail:

I work in a high end retail store as a Co-Manager where you pretty much have to dry clean any of our clothes. I was opening that morning with my store manager. So I get a customer who comes in and tries to make a return because the item is “defective.” I’ll use C for customer and M for me

M - Hello sir, how can I help you?

C - I’d like to return this shirt, it shrunk and the seam is damaged.

I proceeded to inspect the item which was clearly worn and with a stain on it and they probably tried to wash it out with a regular machine. It was also missing the tags inside the shirt so I’m in no way going to accept it.

M - Sir I’m sorry but unfortunately I cannot take this item back as this item is defective and seems to be worn.

C - What the F*** you mean? You guys sold me a piece of S*** and now you won’t take it back?

M - [proceed to show policy on receipt] Sir it’s on our policy, there’s nothing else I can do. In order for us to give you a return the item must be brand new with tags on them.

C - Well F*** you I want corporate’s number because I’m going to report you and I’ll get my way.

M - No problem sir I’ll get you the number right away.

So here I am getting him the number while he’s still complaining, cursing and making a scene. Being in retail long enough you learn that this isn’t anything new and you just have to shrug it off, but wait! So my Store Manager happened to overhear everything and noticed that he was being rude and disrespectful and proceeds to do the following. I’ll use SM for her.

SM - [Grabs shirt and puts it down in front of the customer] “Sir... take your shirt and get the F*** out of my store (pointing at the exit)

C- [Shocked] F*** you b**** you don’t tell me what to do [grabbing shirt and putting it back in the bag.]

SM - You have been very rude in front of the customers and my staff so get the F*** out right now.

M - [Looking at my boss like she’s a goddess with tears of joy (exaggeration) lol]

The man keeps complaining as he walks out the store and we never heard from him again. It’s nice to know that there’s bosses out there that won’t allow customers to get what they want just because they’re throwing tantrums.






Grocery Store Hell: Donut Lady



From OsoDePaulie, Tales From Retail:

Last night, one of the cashiers calls me over because she needs help. I walk over and ask what’s up.

The people on the story are donut lady: DL, cashier: C, and me: me.

C: she says she was overcharged for her donuts on Friday and somebody told her we’d refund her.

Me: ok, let’s see. Hi, ma’am. What seems to be the issue?

DL: I was overcharged for my donuts on Friday. They were supposed to be 5 dollars for a dozen, because they were part of your Friday sale.

Me: ok, well, let me check your receipt, just to make sure.

Donut lady hands me her receipt. I’m looking it over, donuts rang up at 7 bucks, it was from Friday. Everything checked out. I asked for the cashier for a copy of the ad, checked our Friday specials, no donuts on sale.

me: ok, um. You said you came in on Friday?

DL: Monday.

Me: Monday?

DL: yes, Monday.

Me: are you sure?

DL: yes, I’m sure. And those donuts should be 5 bucks.

Me: ok.... well, your receipt says this purchase was on Friday, so maybe there’s some confusion here. What day did you buy the donuts on?

DL: Friday.

Me: .....

Me: okay, so, here’s the deal. The donuts were not part of the Friday sale. I can’t give you two dollars back for that, since we technically didn’t overcharge you...

DL: but the girl on the phone said you’d just give me the money.

Me: who told you that?

DL: I don’t remember the name.

Me: okay. Let’s just do this. Here’s the receipt. I can’t authorize this since I can’t verify who you talked to, and it was never on sale. Come back during the day when the store manager is here and maybe she can help you out.

The lady agrees and leaves. 15 minutes later, the phone rings. Customer service is closed, so I answer the phone.

Me: thank you for calling _________, this is osodepaulie, who may I help you?

DL: hi. I was just in your store a few minutes ago. I was overcharged for some donuts I bought last Friday and the people there wouldn’t help me or give me my money back.

She already doesn’t remember me. Fantastic. Well, let’s just play along.

Me: oh. That’s unfortunate.

DL: yes. Is there anything you can do about it?

Me: well, not really. I can’t authorize anything like that. I don’t recall us having donuts on sale any time recently, so I can’t really say what we can and can’t do.

DL: what do I need to do?

Me: well, I’d recommend coming back during the day and talking to our store manager. She might be able to help you out.

DL: oh. Ok. I’ll do that. Thank you for your help.

Me: of course. Have a good night.

insert confused Jackie chan picture




Spoiled Custys and Enabling Store Manager



From Photofemme:

Oh boy, are we facing a rift between SM and our new ASM in training.
I love this gal.  No nonsense, backs us up, and has been with the company for years.  She does NOT tolerate shenigans by either employees or customers.
That said, she has found out why my fellow staff and I are annoyed.  Our SM has played favorites with a coworker, enabling her to call off constantly, SHRIEK across the shop floor (despite being told not to, and especially when I am having migraines), and get whatever she wants as far as hours, training, etc.  We are all sick of her.  We are allowed 5 call-offs each year.  Last year, she racked up between 20-30 call-offs, and already had 7 this year, along with two no-calls-no-shows.  Yes, she still has a job.  Yes, she is still the favorite.
Second, our SM is all about "customer service".  As in, he gives cranky customers whatever they want.  Demanding 15 cents a print vs our usual 39 cents per print?  Complain enough, it's yours.  Scream and abuse a cashier because your favorite red licorice ISN'T 50% because it's within proximity of the clearance holiday candy?  It's 50% off now.  Yell about how much you hate the store and how the cashier (me) absolutely must use her own Rewards Card (firable offense) because crusty wants her precious vitamins BOGO free but refuses to get a card (because she HATES US)?  Take a wild, ballpark guess what SM gave her (jokes on her, missy isn't getting any more discounts from my friend at the flea market.  I wrote about this a time back).
That said, us employees BETTER have Employee Purchase Stickers on every damn thing we buy and consume on breaks.  Now he wants cashiers to initial and date ALL coupons that print out for us so SM knows we are not stealing them from customers.  Bag checks are also mandatory  If we were a cattle ranch we'd be gnawing gristle while he GIVES the cows to rustlers while serving them steak.
Well, there is something good here.  I now have four Shiny Pokemon in Ultra Moon (Floatzel, Crustle, Abomasnow, and Grumpig).
--Photofemme, Transforming and Rolling Out