Mistaken Identity: "I Do Work Here!"



From  u/Gamestoreguy  I Don't Work Here Lady:

Today I went to a local shop, some say it rhymes with dome cardwear. I was on the hunt for some parts for my motorcycle, I had a leak so I was in a bit of a rush.

I walked up to the door, and reading a sign that said no backpacks I went inside and brought it to the till. Two gentlemen who were standing outside came in, and noticing the home hardwear shirt on one I walked up and asked where something to stop high pressure leaks might be. The other gentleman took the lead and we began talking.

I needed something that could potentially deal with hot and cold changes rapidly, and I mentioned a product, he said “yep that’ll do!” and he turned to lead me there.

Alas, I had fallen for the meme. I noticed he was wearing a vaguely red shirt, which in fact had a flaming skull on it. It wasn’t even collared or totally red.

I stopped to take his visage in. Middle age, overweight, levi jeans, and a generic dad shirt on that you might expect a Harley rider to wear.

How could I have been so blind! Quickly I stopped, and he looked at me quizzically. “Sorry man!” I said, lest I find my story here in a day. “I didn’t realize you don’t work here!”

He looked at me pointing towards his shirt, and leaned in dramatically; Like an old uncle at a kids birthday party might find himself doing.

“Surprise, I actually DO work here.”










Mistaken Identity: I checked the expiration dates before I came here!



From u/ajamuso  Tales From Retail:

A few years ago in my retail days at the now defunct toy store empire, an older looking couple came in with a few toddler aged items. She more or less shoves them at me and slams two coupons on top for her items. I take one look at them and begin to say :

Me: “Ma’am I cannot accep-“

Old lady: “I ALREADY CHECKED the expiration date before I came here! They’re still valid you HAVE to accept them.”

Me: “ No but-“

Old lady: “Look at the date! Can you not read?!”

Me: “These coupons are for Target.”

Not another word was said by either for the entire transaction as I rang up her items and she swiped her card. Felt good honestly with all the harassment I put up with regularly.








Mistaken Identity: Why can’t you look up my account!



From u/Clever_BigMack Tales From Retail:


This happened a few days ago. I work at a cell phone retailer that has several ways you can pay a bill in store. We have systems where we can look up your account on a tablet to see a more detailed bill breakdown or a bill pay system where we just type in your number and it shows how much you owe.

Customer (40 year old man) walks in while we have a small line and sits down to wait. 5 minutes go by and he starts to get pretty agitated. 10 minutes go by and I finish up with my last customer and approach him as he is almost visibly angry.

Me: hey sir, how can I....

Customer: 353-444-3534

Me: (not having a tablet in my hands or be anywhere near the computer) ok. What brings you in today.

Customer: I just TOLD you I need to pay my bill. 353-444-3534

Me: um... alright, let’s just go to the computer over here. (Walk over to computer and pull up the system). What was your number?

Customer: seriously!? 353-444-3534

Me: it’s not pulling anything up, are your sure that’s your number?

Customer: yes of course! I pay my bill here every month! Why can’t you people ever just do your jobs!?

Me: let me pull it up in our other system. (Go get tablet and try to pull it up.) Sir it says you don’t have an account with us.


Me: let me see your phone sir.

Customer: why do you need to see my phone to pay a bill!?

Me: I just want to check something. (Customer hands me the phone). Sir you have Verizon. You need to go down the steet.

Customer: this IS Verizon.

Me: no sir, this is _____. (Points to my shirt, the wall, and the sign on the front door).

Customer: mutters “why can’t you ever just do anything right” as he walks out the door

I’m still not sure if he was asking me or himself when he left







Mistaken Identity: Flip Flops Must Mean Nurse



From u/Quickbrownkitten I Don't Work Here Lady:

I was visiting my mom at the hospital today (she’s recovering from a minor surgery). I said my goodbyes and walked down the hallway. You could hear me coming all the way down the hall because of my flip flops.

As I pass a room that has the door all the way open, this lady starts yelling “excuse me, nurse! Excuse me!”

I look over give her a dead look and keep walking past.

She huffs and mutters to the person sitting next to her.

I’m wearing flip flops, a t shirt, and shorts. I don’t think you want my help.











Mistaken Identity: "You scratched up my car and you're gonna pay!"



From u/gypsymamma, Tales From Retail:

I hope it's okay to relay this story from my husband. He works in the service department of a large busy dealership. He likes his customers and has quite a few that are really nice folks. But every so often he gets a real jerk.

This lady was a first time customer. He worked with her on the estimate and got the work completed and all was going well. She came to pick up her vehicle, paid and left, only to return minutes later pissed and yelling. Accused him and his techs of scratching her car and threatening that she'd see him pay.

My husband kept his cool and said, let's go look at your car and you can show me the damage. They walk out together and the lady leads him to her car, angrily going on about how careless my husband and his team are. They get to the car and my husband takes a look at it and tells her, "Ma'am this is not your car." She dumbfoundedly looks at it and then pushes her key fob, and sure enough, her car beeps from a different place in the parking lot.

I asked him, did she at least apologize? I mean, I'd be mortified if it was me! He said no, she never even said sorry, just went off and got in her car and drove away.







Mistaken Identity: I'm a manager, apparently



From u/Skelfilegur1989  I Don't Work Here Lady:

One of my jobs a while back required I wear a certain color polo with slacks. The polo looked real professional and was all a dark grey, and I decided to wear it out one day because laundry. I go to my local country store to get new boots because I like their company. Good, friendly staff and I know the girls who work there.

I'm browsing boots, facing the boxes as I go and as I do so, a customer there grabs my arm and asks me to come with her. She looked about my age and had the haircut. You know the one. Let's call her H for haircut.

Me: "Please let go of my arm, what do you need?"

H: "Just come already. I have a question about a safe."

Me: "Again, please let go of my arm. I do not-"

H: "You need to answer my questions. I don't have all day, do you know what my husband does?"

At this point I'm still very miffed because she won't let go of my arm and I really don't want to remove it. I'm not a small guy and outside eyes.. instead I ask if I can get an employee to help her.

H: "You are an employee, you need to help me or I'll have you fired. This is a Navy town and my husband is a Petty Officer and will file a complaint about you."

Now, I was intrigued. I went with her to the safes and, given that I do have some knowledge about them, proceed to tell her pretend features about it, because I really hated the idea that spouses would leverage their SOs title in social things.

I told her about how if you pushed the safe over on its face, it would allow easy access through the back in cases of emergency, that you could hide small children inside it in the case of an armed ingress on your household, how it doubles as a doorstop.

I even showcased it's voice activated unlock feature and opened the already unlocked safe and she was totally on board and asked if she could purchase a model from the back of the store.

I said of course and left to get an actual employee and went back to my shopping.

Being a manager is easy, guys. Take it from me.