Mistaken Identity: I Just Want to Make Crafts



From u/SpaceySquidd I Don't Work Here Lady:

I'm a shy, self-conscious introvert, who is easily embarrassed, for myself or for other people. Interactions with strangers tire me out, so I prefer to shop without interacting with other people when possible. I am also a nerdy paper crafter; craft supplies are the only thing I really enjoy shopping for.

Unbeknownst to me, wearing any blue polo in Walmart apparently makes me an employee. Never mind that I'm carrying a purse, and my shirt (which is not even the Walmart shade of blue) says "[County] Library System".

I was browsing the cardstock selection after work one afternoon. It was hotter in the store than I'd prefer, and I get cranky when I get hot, so I reeeeally didn't want to interact with strangers.

Girl1: Do you know where the iron-ons are?

Me (turning towards her): Uh, no. I don't.

G1: ... you know, like numbers you'd put on the back of a jersey?

As she says this, she looks down at my shirt, and I can see in her eyes that it's dawning on her that I'm not an employee. Being the nice person that I am, I try to minimize her embarrassment by playing along as though I thought she was just asking a fellow crafter for help.

Me (turning to look down the aisle behind me): I haven't seen any, but did you check down by the---

I turn back to her, and she's quickly disappearing around the corner. I giggle and turn back to my cardstock. Not 30 seconds later, a man comes up to me.

Man: Do you work here?

Me: Oh, no, sorry, I--

Man: Are you in this section?

Me (sarcastic me thinking, nope, I'm just a figment of your imagination): No, I don't work here.

Man: ...You don't work here?

Me: No, sorry.

Man: You're not an employee?

Me (struggling to oppress sarcastic me): I am not a Walmart employee.

Man: Oh? Oh. Sorry.

He shuffles away, glancing back several times as though he's not sure if I'm serious, like I'm gonna call after him, "Just kidding! I totally work here!"

Shaking my head, I return to my browsing. A minute later, I'm nearly done making my selection, when an older woman halfway down the aisle hollers at me: "Where's the zippers?"

I'm not about to be hollered at in a store I don't even work for, so I spontaneously decide that I'm deaf. I don't acknowledge her or look up at all. I keep looking at the shelves in front of me. She scoots her cart closer and asks again. I am still deaf. As she proceeds closer, she starts giving me a description of zippers, as if maybe I'd never encountered one before. Still didn't react. She continues moving down the aisle, talking about her zippers and what she needs them for. At some point she must've realized her mistake, because she just kept talking, as though she was conversing with someone with her or on the phone (no one else was around and she wasn't on the phone). She talked herself right down the aisle and around the corner.

I had other things I wanted to get for my current project, but I decided it wasn't worth this stranger-interaction circle of Hell I had apparently stepped into. I practically ran to the self-checkout and escaped.

No paper crafts were made that day. 😕








Mistaken Identity: I don't work here lady vacation edition



From  u/crazyjoe20999 I Don't Work Here Lady:

So I'm on vacation with my family the hotel we are staying at has a nice free breakfast. It has one of those waffle machines as well. We walk down to eat breakfast. ( I'm wearing Batman lounge pants and a t-shirt) I make everyone a waffle because "Dads are the best" ( Really because I don't want the kids to start pushing each other around hot metal) After I hand the waffles I finally make mine and start to sit down, when I hear I'd like two waffles. Obviously I ignore it and sit down with my family. The lady follows me and says Crazy lady: Didn't you hear me? I said I wanted two waffles.

Me: Yea, I heard you. The breakfast self serve. You have to make them yourself.

Crazy lady: I just saw you hand out waffles to these people. Get off your but and do your job.

Me. These people are my family. I don't work here. I'm on vacation just like you.

Crazy lady: Listen here you lazy.. Crazy ladys kid: Look mommy he's wearing Batman pants.

She looks down sees my pants. It finally clicks and she starts making her breakfast. Her husband walks up afterwards and tells me he's sorry, and offers to buy me us lunch on him. He hands me a twenty and says sorry again.






Mistaken Identity: I Don’t Work Here. I’m just on vacation.



From u/soph_lurk_2018, Tales From Retail:

My friend and I decided to go to Atlanta on a whim. We booked a last minute flight and got a hotel in Midtown, Atlanta. Since it was the middle of summer time, my friend had on a form fitting maxi and I was wearing short shorts and sandals. We also had luggage with us. So we get to the hotel and walked up to the front desk. The Front Desk (FD) attendant looked immediately annoyed by our presence.

Me: Good morning, we are here to...

FD: Cuts me off and waves his hand like we're insects. "Go the back room."

My friend and I think this is weird but follow his instructions. It was a pretty big hotel, so we figured there may have been a second check in desk in the back and this one was closed for whatever reason. We were also tired from the flight so we didn’t put much thought into his instructions. I mean why else would he send us to the back? We get to the back room and it is filled with with employees. Weird. So we walk back to the front desk.

FD: Visibly agitated "Didn't I tell you to go to the back room? What do you want?"

Me: "um I'm confused. There is nothing but employees back there."

FD: "AND?"

Me: "We're just trying to check in." FD: "Oh I thought you worked here and it was your first day."

Me: "Really? You thought we came to our first day dressed like this and with suitcases???"

FD: blank stare Then he offered a halfhearted "Sorry” and proceeded to check us in.

I will say it was one of my strangest check in experiences.










Mistaken Identity: "I'm just as lost as you are"



From kermit2014 I Don't Work Here Lady:

This was a few years ago, which is only important because literally everyone was wearing those North Face jackets at the time.

I went to a giant outlet mall. It has 5 "neighborhoods" and 3 Aunty Anne's to give you an idea. It was my first time there, so I stopped in front of the directory to figure out where I was and where I wanted to go.

Behind me, I hear an older couple (60s or so) having a hushed conversation. LW will be lost woman, LM will be lost man, and I'll be me.

LW: Go and ask her.

LM: I'm not going to ask her. She probably doesn't know.

LW: But she's wearing the jacket. She has to know.

(LW walks up to me and starts talking)

LW: Where's the store?

Me: I'm sorry?

LW: The North Face store. Where is it?

Me: I'm sorry, I don't know. I've never been here before.

(LW just stares at me)

Me: I could help you find it on the directory? *gestures at the directory we're standing in front of*

LW: But you're wearing the jacket.

Me: Yes, but I didn't get it from here. Like I said, this is the first time I've been to this mall.

LW: Where did you get your jacket, then?

Me: Online?

LW stares at me a bit longer. After a long pause, they both just shuffled off without another word.

For giggles, I decided to look for The North Face store on the directory. It was literally 2 stores over and they had just walked off in the wrong direction.







Mistaken Identity: I still can't figure out how this old bag even thought I worked at Aldi's



From QEbitchboss, Tales From Retail:

This is so stupid but I figured you folks would get a chuckle from this one.

After work around 6:00 p.m., I'm leaving Aldi's with my groceries. They have a cart return system where you shove the basket back in and get your quarterback to use the next time.

As I put the last bag of groceries in the back of my car, a woman walks over to me and shoves her cart in back of my car. "You can take this one back too."

After a long day at work, I have no fucks to give. I pretend this woman and her cart to do not exist. I walk my own cart over to the line, extract my quarter and begin walking back.

She starts yelling at me and telling me she's going to tell my boss unless I help her. "I can't walk that far!" It's all of 40 feet.

I'm in scrubs. It's not like my uniform was even close to an employee's.

I continue to pretend she does not exist.

I was determined not to touch her cart. I'm on full petty mode now. I used my backup camera to see saw back-and-forth to exit the space.

I could see her gesturing wildly at me as I left the parking lot. Some say she still there.

TLDR there is an Aldi's somewhere that must hire private nurses to return carts for entitled old ladies.

Ya know, I'm really could've taken the cart back if she were ever nice to me. I wouldn't have minded.





Mistaken Identity: This isn't a restaurant, its the hardware store!



From Syn13x I Don't Work Here Lady:

So I just got off my shift at a local restaurant and went to the hardware store to pick up a couple things. Had a cart with my items in it and this stranger walked up to me asking me about drill bits. The hardware stores clothes are Red shirts and khakis while I was wearing a white dress shirt with a bowtie. M for me, H for him.

H: Can you tell me where the drill bits are?

M: (oblivious) Uh yea, what are you looking for.

So I help this guy through a couple aisles looking for a certain brand and giving him suggestions for what he needs. This goes on for a second until he says.

H: Do you guys sell Black and decker.

That's when I realized I became the first fry boy of a hardware store. I told him I don't work here and he started laughing, the type of laugh where you're dying inside. Guy was apologetic and just the salt of the earth. Ended up helping him and getting a good laugh out of it.