Movie Theater Hell: The Crazy Popcorn Lady



From Just Jess, January, 2011:


It was a Saturday, which was our busiest day of the week, so we were constantly making popcorn. (We only had one machine, again we were a discount theatre).

It was right before the next set of movies started so we had made enough popcorn to fill the machine. It was literally flowing over.

Then this "healthy" bitch comes in. I will call her HB.

Let me just start by saying that I don't know how other theatres work but we put in a cup of this seasoned salt when we popped our corn.

HB: Can you make some new popcorn without adding any salt?

Me: Sorry, we just made some and there isn't enough room for more in the machine at this time.

HB: Oh, I would really like some with no salt. I don't eat salt on anything. Come on you guys do it all the time.

Now let me say that we will make fresh popcorn for people if they ask, but like I said the machine was overflowing.

I decided to ask the manager and they said fine.

As the popcorn is being popped (it takes about 3 minutes) she starts asking me and my coworker if we put salt on anything.

HB: I don't put salt on ANYTHING. I always ask that there not be salt on my fries. Do you put salt on anything?

Me: (stupid me for answering a question. I really should know better) Just on my popcorn and sometimes my fries.

HB: YOU SHOULDN'T PUT IT ON ANYTHING! It's really bad for you. I should know..." Blah blah bullshit bullshit.

Whatever lady. She continued on the entire time. I even put the bag under the kettle to catch the popcorn so she wouldn't get any salt.

I give her her popcorn, and what does she do?

Come on RHUers, you know the drill.



She went off for several minutes about how we needed to not put salt on the fucking popcorn and then she just dumps it on there! Not just at work, but in our personal lives!

I guess it's one of those do as I say not as I do things. I think she just wanted fresh popcorn, but we had just made some!

Grrr At the time I was super pissed because we were busy, but now I just think it's a funny crazy custy story.

Over time hopefully the rest of you will stop being mad at these stupid custys and start laughing at the ridiculous things they do!

--Just Jess


read more Movie Theater Hell stories here





Movie Theater Hell: Worst Customers And Excuses


3 movie theater hellFrom Benson_Abigail, TalesFromTheTheatre

Lady comes in and asks us about a coupon she found online where she can get a BOGO ticket. I've never heard of it so I looked at the coupon, she's using RetailMeNot and every single comment (a total of around 12 or so) says that the codes don't work but this woman is adamant.

My manager gives her a free pass to honor the BOGO. She pulls the same shit at concession and the guy working concession calls my manager over the walkie saying he needs to issue some free popcorn passes. This woman scored a bunch of freebies literally all night because RetailMeNot didn't work and my manager cared too much about possible bad reviews or a call to corporate from this lady.

Lets see......

Every single time there's a Rated R movie, there's kids who want to go and parents who think they can pay for the kid's tickets and then leave them in there alone. If I am at box, I tell the parents they have to go to the movie and stay there the entire time with their kids unless the kids will be removed. I've gotten every single excuse:

"But I'm their mother and I say they can go!"

"Can I just walk in with them and leave when it starts?"

"I already paid for their tickets and I am NOT going in there with them! I've already paid so they're going in!"

"Is there some consent form I can sign so they can go in?"

"They have my explicit permission to go watch this movie."

"It's okay, they play violent video games all the time so a Rated R movie won't hurt them."

Skullies smileOur policy > your tile as a parent. When I usher, there is nothing I love more than kicking out unattended kids and telling people to turn their phones off. I kicked out way too many kids during IT and I am extremely fearful for Deadpool 2 when it comes out since when the first one came out, parents got into literal fist fights with our staff.

Speaking of kids trying to get in to Rated R movies, the kid's excuses themselves are adorable too:

"Can I call my dad and have him tell you I have permission?"

"I don't understand why we need ID, I mean, we're seniors in high school...."

^ That one almost made me burst into laughter.

"I don't have ID, but I'm 21."

"Oh yeah? What if I bought the tickets online? Who's going to check my ID?" sassy head rocking

"Will a school ID work?"

"I turn 17 in like 5 days!"

"I don't have ID but my friend is 18, can she buy my ticket?"

And so on and so on.



Movie Theater Hell: Inappropriate


2 movie theater hellFrom thisshortenough, TalesFromTheTheatre

Before I start I would like to say I'm using theatre in the sense of Broadway/West end shows not movies. But there's nowhere else to post it that I would feel appropriate so this will have to do. Plus it's pretty similar in terms of service. Also apologies for the length

Anyway on to the story.

Currently, we're finishing up our run of a particularly popular musical. Soon we'll be able to say So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Adieu to it and put the whole Christmas nonsense to rest. Because this is a show families adore and it has been the Christmas season, we've had to put up with a lot of people who have never been to the theatre before but have a lot of expectations and demands. I've been taking it in stride tbh, I've been pretty into the Christmas spirit myself. Over the past couple of days, I've developed a pretty bad cold which has brought me right down.

Cue this woman who I will call GW (short for Gin Woman).

I had seen her before the show when she had come up to me at the bar and ordered a double gin and tonic for pre-show, and two for the interval, plus two pints. This is where I should have had a clue but honestly, it's the Christmas season, everyone's been a bit merry and if she had started acting up security would have been up in a flash.

So pre-show goes fine, the first act goes down, the interval is busy but handled well. I'm coming back from the bathroom and about to start counting up my till when I see that GW is still sat out in the foyer, drinking. Not out of the ordinary, the interval is only twenty minutes long and a lot of people prefer to finish their drinks than go back in. It's a little annoying because it means we have to keep our customer service faces on for longer but still, I'm gonna be leaving within an hour and a half, I don't really care about someone finishing off a drink.

Except GW starts listening in on our conversations and interjecting with what she thinks are funny quotes. I mention to my supervisor that I don't know whether fifty cents left out near the till was actually a tip or whether I was supposed to put it back in the till. GW chimes that I should make sure not to spend it all in one place. Ha. Ha.

Jason doctorWe end up having to speak in whispers until GW eventually decides to go back inside, giving us an over the top wave as she goes. Whatever, let's get on with our work.

An hour later and it's the end of the show and we're directing everyone out. The usher has gone to get rubbish bags for cleaning the auditorium but it's just a small stream of people left coming out so it's no big deal to me. Doing the usual "Night guys, thanks for coming, exits out to the left, bathrooms to your right" when GW appears.

GW obviously thinks that we are now friends, because not only did I serve her a gin earlier, like my job entails of me, I also shouted a generic goodnight at a crowd she happened to be a part of. GW makes a beeline for me. Due to the cold I mentioned earlier, my reflexes have been a bit shit lately and I didn't realise what was happening until it was too late.

Before I could step back and stop her, GW was giving me a very tight hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek, saying "It was a great show thanks so much."

I have never been so uncomfortable in my life. I was still in customer service mode and so my brain could not react in any other way except like this

I felt my entire being stiffen up. I think my soul left my body for a while. As this endless nightmare of a hug continued my body naturally started to recoil against it, leaving me in this state. GW could sense my distress as she hugged me in a way that a man has failed to for almost a year now.

Rather than realising how inappropriate it is to be hugging a total stranger at a place they cannot leave due to the fact of their employment, GW tries to reassure me, in what I can only assume is her best use of logic since she thought to put on a coat before leaving the house.

Finally releasing the statue that was once my body, she turns to me and says "Don't worry I don't have Asian flu." before walking away, in the completely wrong direction, never to be seen again, just like a piece of my soul.