From: RHU Facebook, The Last Archimedean

I have a bad cold and needed to get medicine, so I stopped at the local drugstore chain this morning to pick some up. It's a slow time of day, so they only have one checker. I'm next in line when the customer in front of me starts pitching a fit about how her coupons aren't all being scanned. 

Cashier [resigned tone]: Ma'am, you can't combine these two offers. This coupon says clearly "not valid with any other offer."

Customer: Bullshit! Gimme my fucking discount, you bitch!

Cashier: I can use either of these two, but not both of them. This one is for 10% off your entire purchase, and this one is for 20% off [one specific item]. The 10% off your entire purchase will save you more money but it's up to you which one you want to use: you can choose either one and use the other one next time you shop here, provided you do it before February 1. Which *one* of these coupons shall I scan for you today?

Customer: BOTH of them, you dumb cunt!

Cashier: I can only scan one, ma'am. Please choose which one you want to use.

Customer: You will scan them both, you fucking asshole-eating dyke!

Me [sick, tired, and wanting to get the hell out of there with my cold medicine]: Lady, shut up and pay for your crap! [my voice sounds like I'm at death's door, even though all I have is a cold]

Customer: Butt out, dickhead!

Me: If you don't shut up and pay in the next 15 seconds I'll come over there and cough on you.

Customer: Use the 10% off coupon. [She beats a very hasty retreat after paying as quickly as possible]

Cashier [as I'm paying]: Thanks. *giggling* Try not to breathe in my direction.

--The Last Archimedean

Hello again RHU!

This is a bit of a long announcement so please bear with me. TL;DR's may want to read it anyway, so you don't find yourself confused later.

After sweeping through all the backlogged stories in the submissions email, I was left kind of at a loss. The backlogged stories were my reservoir of stories when things dried up a bit when it came to new and fresh stories from RHUers. I am currently dredging the RHU Facebook group as well as the submissions inbox, and still plan to do so.

However, I was actually struck by a bit of a dead spell during the holidays; to the point where I simply didn't have enough to post a minimum of five stories a day. Not that I'm blaming anybody; I'm quite sure that it was because RHUers were exhausted and simply wanted to crash into bed, not stay up even later and type. There's no shame in that and to be honest I was in the same boat! Holidays are eeeevil!

That being said, I realized last night that we have a plethora of small stories that were shared in the Comments section of other posts that never see the light of day. Henceforth, I shall be tackling this project to help fill any spots that might otherwise be a bit bare. Since these small stories go way back to RHU's beginning, it will be a long project.

What does this mean to you? It means that there are stories that you shared and probably forgot about long ago. Those are going to be popping up, and you will probably get an, "Oh yeah! I forgot about that one!" moment. It may also mean that stories that were posted under a past nickname will be resurrected. It will be a lot harder for me to update these nicknames, as well as time consuming. In short, I may not have time to fix it. Please bear with me on that front!

I also plan to continue the Monthly Theme this year. So if you share a manager from hell story in the comments, I may schedule that ahead in May, which is when I plan for the Managers From Hell monthly theme. Submissions and RHU Facebook stories will still go live quickly (I'm going to aim for "within 48 hours" of sending), so don't be afraid to send your stories in whenever you think of them! ... Also don't be afraid to send me an email poke if you haven't heard SOMETHING about your submission from a week ago.

Just a reminder, keep your stories as anonymous as possible and related to the workplace! I will edit out mentions of disabilities, specific medical conditions, or other identifying information from your stories. Last year, I received a few stories that were so chock full of identifying information and non-workplace related tangents that I simply could not post them. I had to bury them in the disused gravel quarry of the "Deleted Emails" bin. If it's not retail, at least make it workplace related! A coworker from hell in a cubical office will still qualify!

There will also be a few changes around the site, some more noticeable than others. We'll announce them as they go live! Keep your eyes peeled, and may all your custys be nice!

Originally posted on April 11, 2008

From: RHU Facebook

So today we had a rich ol' biddy come in wants to do a return. The problem is that she doesn't have her receipt and the way our system works we can only do an exchange. My Hispanic coworker ends up servicing her.

Ol' Biddy: I need to return this! My niece didn't like it.

Coworker: Okay, do you have receipt.

Ol' Biddy: No! I want it returned in cash!

Coworker: Unfortunately, we can only do an exchange for store credit without a receipt.

Ol' Biddy: Can you look it up? I bought it here!

Coworker: Our system has not way of looking up purchases without a receipt so we can only offer an exchange or store credit.

Ol' Biddy: I DON'T WANT STORE CREDIT! I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING! YOU'RE CHEATING ME! YOU MEXICANS NEED THE MONEY! THAT'S HOW IT WORKS!

Coworker: *annoyed* Ma'am, I may be Mexican and I certainly don't need your money! You're welcome to shop elsewhere!

Ol' Biddy: I WANT YOUR NAME AND WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER! YOU SHOULD BE FIRED FOR YOUR RUDENESS! I'M GOING TO TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT YOUR STORE AND NOT TO SHOP HERE! I'M FILING A COMPLAINT ONLINE AND LET ALL THE LOCALS KNOW HOW HORRIBLE YOU'RE BUSINESS IS!

Coworker: Absolutely. I'm sure she would love to hear how we Mexicans need the money especially in this area.

Store manager comes down. She's Hispanic as well. Ol' Biddy gasps, takes her stuff and leaves, but threatens to call our area manager while telling other custys not to shop with us while we ignore her. The irony is that this bitch is a local but fails to realize that this affluent community that our store is located in is made up of 50% wealthy Mexican entrepreneurs who have houses in the vicinity.

I would love to see how the community would react if one of their own has revealed to be a racist! 

--Queer Geek