I would love to discuss the issue of KIDS at our places of work.
What I would love even more is if I never saw another demon child at my work. Don't get me wrong, I love kids.. but keep them the hell out of my job - which sadly won't happen, since I work at a bowling alley. This alley is known for it's lounge area and bar, but that's all I'm gonna say about it without giving too much away.
Now I work at the front desk of my establishment.. doing transactions to put people on the lanes, calling in broken lanes to the mechanic, handling phone calls and reservations, and of course the business of cleaning shoes that are returned to me extremely warm and moist with an occasional chicken wing left in it (true story). I'm sure I'll write another post soon about handling the phone calls, which makes me want to purposely go home to my cat and allow her to rip the shit out of my head because that would be more tolerable.. but today I'd gonna bitch about my customer pet peeves.
Part 1: HELLSPAWN
- When I ask you for your shoe size, I completely understand that you don't know how to take off your shoe and look for the size on it.
What I don't understand is when the parent will lean down and whisper in the brat's ear what size to say to me, and renders the child completely unhelpful and useless, as now they will just spin around to hide in the parent's legs.
As the line behind these slowasses gets larger and larger, the parent keeps pushing the child forward trying to get them to tell me the shoe size because "it's so cute when she does it!"
No, after 3 years it's definitely not cute anymore, and all you're doing is helping the guests behind you get more and more impatient, giving them time to think of what insults they can sling at me claiming I'm too slow.
Just tell me the goddamn shoe size and get the fuck out of the line!
- When I go to hand the rental shoes to a child, whether it's 5 years old, or 20 years old (apologies, but this has happened).. DON"T JUST STARE AT ME!!!!
Take the goddamn shoes! You have no idea how irritating it is for me to reach over the desk to give you your ugly bowling shoes, and instead of taking them from my hand, you just stare at my hand, utterly confused as to why I'm doing something so odd.
Taaaake theeeeee shoooooooooessssalkhdkajsdbj
- Quit fuckin' screaming. Pre-teens, I'm looking at you. These ones are worse than the 4 year olds that are pissed they have to leave cause mommy wants to go have a drink at home.
The lanes we have are directly behind my desk, so I get to hear all the loud hyena laughs and murderous screams. Really, there is NO need to see if you can break the sound barrier with your lungs while you're bowling. I know I don't feel the need to screech every time I successfully cook dinner.
- Do NOT run up and down the lanes. Do NOT throw balls into other people's lanes than your own. And If I catch you trying to "skate" on the freshly waxed lanes, I swear I will laugh when your mother comes to yell at me for her precious son falling on the lane. Biatch please.
Part 2 : ADULTS
- Watch after your own hellspawn. I do not get paid enough to babysit while you go sit at the bar.
- If your coupon is expired, accept it and move on. Do not demand to see a manager to try to invalidate what I have just discussed with you. Guaranteed the manager will take my side, especially if you're giving me attitude that a dragon would run from.
- You left your iphone here last night, you say? Since it's not anywhere in the store the day after, it's my fault, you say? Fuck you. That's what you get for leaving your expensive shit lying around. Electronics are GONE baby gone if you are unlucky enough to lose it here.
- I never get tired of hearing "You better spray my husband/wife's shoes extra good! Someone's got smelly feet!" Seriously. Never. Just like I never want to win a million dollars.
It was almost funny the first time I heard it.. but hearing it on a weekly basis.. Christ, I think I hear that little joke in my sleep now.
And for the record, you're right.. the shoes are always fuckin' rank and warm and moist..
- The price list is posted on my desk right in front of you. If you come to my desk, look at the price list for 20 seconds, then proceed to look up and ask me "so how much is it to bowl?".
...all you're gonna get it my finger pointing to the sign and an incredulous expression from me.
Or a bout of laughter.
- Also regarding prices, yes I know we are expensive.
No, I did not create the prices myself. And I LOVE how you just stare at me with your mouth agape catching flies, because I won't give you a discount.
If you just stare at me, thinking I'M the idiot.. all you're gonna get in return is an eyebrow raise and equally blank stare.
Hey, you came to me buddy. I just work here.
That's it for right now. I'll post some actual confrontations next time, 'cause there are a LOT.. any other bowling slaves here?
I'd love to hear some shared pains!
Stay strong darlings, until next time..