Holidays + Burgers = Bitchy Custys

Burgerbitch16 I never thought I would say that I’m happy the Holidays are over; people are extra EXTRA crazy during the Holidays.

First off, two men come in a few days ago, both smelling disgustingly of WAYTOOMUCHFUCKINGAXETHERE.

Man One: What do you deep fry your bacon in? Because if it’s not Vegetable oil, I don’t want any!

Me: ... Uuh, we don’t deep fry our bacon, we grill it...

Man One: Alright then, I’ll have a bacon cheeseburger and a Pepsi. Is your Pepsi at room temperature, because if it’s not I DON’T WANT IT.

Me: No, it’s not...


At that point, my supervisor walks up and heard that, she actually asked them if they were joking, because she thought for sure that they were.

They then proceeded to be giant tools throughout the entire order, Man Two demanded that he wanted a tomato, but he wanted four of them cut up into cubes ._.

On Wednesday, it was constantly busy, literally lined up straight to the door all day.
Since I wasn’t busy in Drive Thru, I was grabbing the drinks for the garnishers and helping out in the kitchen whenever I could.

The new garnisher was working that day, and for a new girl, she was doing great.
I was grabbing her drinks when a customer starts freaking out at her for being slow.

Me: She’s just learning.


Me: If you see that the line is to the door, why get in it in the first place? =/ You obviously know that you’ll be waiting a while. She is trying her best, she’s been here since eight AM and she’s only worked about four shifts, give her a break.

Then, somewhere in the distance someone yells;


I told him he was my best friend <3

Happy New Year everyone c:

Burger Bitch


Hell Spawn Gets A Beatdown

Story time An Awesome Custy Story from Twink:

This is the type of parent I wish I had that always came through my line. It happened yesterday, and I had to take a long break to recover, but not in the way you might think.

A lady came through my line, with her two sons, I'd say their ages were around 9 & 11.  Internally I groan, because the cart is running over.  No sooner than the mom starts unloading everything, the younger one looks up at me and says "be right back". 

Mentally I'm thinking "uhh ok?", but I keep going, scanning in her items. 

While she's unloading, the older of the two starts whining about everything. 

He wants a magazine, then a candy bar, then a soft drink, then some of the matchbox cars. 

She says "no" firmly, twice. 

The third time he starts in, she rummages in the cart a second, and then approaches me with a belt in her hand. 

Instantly I can guess what's coming. "Ma'am, can you go ahead and scan this and hand it back?" she says.  I do, and then she doubles it in her hand.  Now I know what's coming.

She turns to the 11 year old and says, rather loudly, "Do you want me to wear your ass out right here in front of God and everybody?" 

He instantly shakes his head no.

"Then hush. One more word out of you, and you better hope the cashier is on your side, because I will do it, hear me?" she says. 

He nods his head.

It is then that the 9 year old reappears. 

Before the bag carousel has gotten full, this little angel has gone and gotten an empty cart, and is unloading the bags as soon as I turn the carousel to him with them. 

I could've cried! 

He even makes polite requests for certain items, such as "if you don't mind, could you please double bag the can goods? We live on the second floor and the bags don't always make it up the steps", and actually opened the empty bags after he'd pulled off the full ones!

I wanted to take him home!

But, my good mood was momentarily spoiled, by his big brother. 

Since mom has said no, but isn't paying him any attention, he decides to just start adding stuff to the cart that he wants.

She catches him, and takes the belt, that was lying on top of her purse, and makes good on her promise.  She holds on to him by his shirt collar, and in between swats, which are hard enough even I'm wincing, I hear "I said no, and I meant no". 

She clamps his hands down on the push handle of the cart the younger one is reloading.  "You move before I tell you to, and so help me you'll go to school this week standing up."

She doesn't have to use the belt anymore, but she does get in one final dig of punishment.

Right before I'm about to ring up the last few items, she comes over, and kisses the younger one on the top of the head, and I hear "You were such a big help today. Get yourself a Sprite and a bag of Funyuns." 

She looks up at the older one. 

"And if I even THINK you've tried to take them away from him before we get home, so help me, you'll be standing up for a week".

She paid, they left, with the younger one pushing the now empty cart back to the door so someone else could use it.

The reason I had to take a long break? 

It took me a while to get the "got what you deserved you little brat" expression off my face, and I didn't want a customer to think it was towards them.



Ohio Woman Attacks McDonalds Drive Thru

Fwtf Miri and Katie just emailed me about this scary McDonald's incident:

Apparently a Mickey D custy got pissed when they ran out of chicken nuggets. She freaked out and went all psycho, punching the window of the drive-thru!

The police were called, they arrested the nugget-hungry-nuisance and charged her with vandalism. She's pleaded not guilty and been ordered to stay away from the restaurant. None of the McDonald's Slaves are talking about the incident, but you know it must have gotten ugly if she bashed a window and they had to call police.


Yet another fast food tantrum. What the hell is wrong with these people? Can't we just send them all to a deep-fried island somewhere? Thank god there was a window. And it's a good thing for her she wasn't at Burger Bitch's drive thru cuz the crazy violent skank would have needed an ambulance to hall her ass off to jail.

Here's a link to the news report:

Mickey D Nugget Nut

Killer Shopping Cart

Dec09 025

I was walking down the streets of NYC on December 23rd and what do I see in the lobby of some office building? Killer Shopper Cart set up next to a Christmas Tree and presents. I went inside and talked to the security people. They had no clue why it was there and what it represented in the way of holiday decor. What ever the reason, this testosterone cart rules the aisle way and parking lot!

Dec09 026

Black Friday Shopping Cart Joust anyone?

Dec09 029

Even a seat for the little Hell Spawn.

Dec09 030
Driver view: Move out of the way or become shopping cart kabob.


Self Scan Customer Bitch Get's Told

Rb A Retail Balls Award goes to Self Scan Girl for how she dealt with a huge bitch Custy during the Christmas Rush:

Hi all, I'm your friendly neighborhood self scan girl.

That's right. Of the forty people that work in the front end of my store, I'm one of the lucky ten or so that is trained in managing the self checkouts. Now, I've been at school for the last four months in another part of the country, and thus have been on leave till about a week ago. And all of my shifts since coming back to my store have been snapping my gum at the self checkout counter, using the palm pilot and touch screen monitor to fix morons' mistakes and cleaning shit up. Because apparently my six checkouts look like a trash can. Fuck no. I keep them clean. So stop leaving your fucking tissues on the machines. Gross.

Now, normally, I'm okay with this. I clean, I hold hands and babysit people who clearly need a lot of attention or are completely illiterate AND deaf at the same time, and I assist most times with a smile. (Unless you snap your fingers at me. Then all bets are off, bitch. I'm not your servant.) However, my first shift back, I get some bitch demanding some special attention that I don't have time for.

First, she uses the machines to check prices. So I have to void out all of these and write them up. She did this even after I a) specifically told her not to, and b) checked the prices for her on my palm pilot. Finally she stops. Okay.Scan pic

But wait! She rings in a pot on her actual order that she thought was four dollars, not twenty-seven. Though I know the pot is twenty-seven dollars, because I had been down that aisle earlier before my shift, I offer to call the department and check with someone who works there. I call, the guy tells me exactly what I already knew, I tell the woman.

Her: But the sign said four.

Me: Well, he just went and checked and it's actually twenty-seven.

Her: You can't do that.

Me: The tag for four dollars was for a completely different pot, one that was on clearance. I was down there not two hours ago.

Her: You can't do that. I saw a tag for four where I got this pot. The law says you have to give it to me for free now.

Me: That's only if the UPC code matches the tag. That tag you are talking about does not match this pot. I'm very sorry for the mixup.

Her: You're a stupid little whore. Don't know your own laws? This is a felony, bitch. I could report you to the police.

Me: Excuse me?Demonshopa

Her: You are committing a felony. That's it. You little whore. I know what you're doing. This is illegal, and I'm reporting you to your head office and the police.

I did not take that well. I've spent two years getting abused there by customers, and I'm not letting some bitch ruin my night.

Me: Look, you may have found the pot in that spot. But it didn't belong there and it didn't match the tag. I have done nothing wrong here. You want to know why you're having a little tantrum in the middle of this store over a fucking pot? Because of customers exactly like you, putting crap where it doesn't belong and not giving a shit because they think they're entitled to come here and do whatever they want. You ignored what I said and I still helped you. And now you want to report me for doing my job, exactly the way I was trained? Try it. I dare you. Good luck, and merry fucking Christmas.

I walked away then, straight to my supervisor, and told her what had happened. The woman came in later and tried to pull the same shit with my supervisor, who told her if she ever came in again, my supervisor would have her nicely escorted out for harassing an employee.

-Self Scan Queen