Retail Siblings and Lame Managers

Slaverant1 From Under Pressure:

I've worked at two different retail jobs. The first was a grocery store, where I worked for 2 years before I was (ridiculously) fired for a mistake. The second, and current job, is at everybody's favorite largest retailer, where I am about to reach 2 months of slavery.

Now, I'm a pretty nice person in general. I am a bit passive-aggressive though. Make me remove from your cart AND bag AND put back in the cart your 75+ item order all by myself when you're perfectly capable of doing it yourself, and you can guarantee I'm going to take my time about it. Allude to the fact that I must be pretty stupid if I'm working here, and I'll smile and politely let you know that you're trying to slide your driver's license through my debit card machine.

But some of the worst stories I have aren't about customers, they're about the other employees.

The grocery store, as most places do, had a policy against family members working above other family members, which they ignored for my older sister and me. There's a good reason for the rule though. Family members tend to have personal agendas.

My sister, for instance, saw her in charge of me as the "natural order of things" and would therefore insist that I call her for every little thing. When I didn't, since I knew very well how to do most things for myself, she would hover over me, making constant comments about my items per minute ratio, my failure to ask for donations, or my horrid bagging skills. And when I did call her for something that required a supervisor, she would loudly berate me for "playing around on the clock" and walk away without helping me.Portraita

My favorite story comes from the land of supercenters and what used to be a smiley face. I had been working there for less than two weeks, and it was my first day off so far. It had been a while since I last stood all day, so my legs, feet, and ankles were all incredibly sore.

I had fallen into bed early the night before, and was still asleep and planning on staying that way for a long time. 9 am, I get a phone call.

"Where are you?"

I try to come up with something rational to say, but being groggy, I can only come up with "ummm... bed?"

"This is your manager. You were supposed to be here an hour ago. Where are you?"

"I was told I have off today. I think... I can loo-"

"How soon can you be here?"

Considering I live 45 minutes away- "An hour, most likely."

"Hurry. Call when you're on the way." Click.

I spring out of bed, throw on my unwashed work clothes, that I was planning on washing later that day, drag my dad out of bed (I can't drive) and off we go.

On the way there, I try to call about 35 times before concluding that somethings wrong with the phones.

Finally, we get there. I walk in and locate the manager I talked to on the phone.

"Here's the schedule I was given. I'm not in the system yet, so it was handwritten by ___." (the person who writes the schedules)

He snatches it out of my hand. "What day is today?"

"The fourth."

"Second, third, fifth... you're right, you don't work today."

A CSM comments "I already put her in the system as a no show for the day."

The manager: "Alright, you can go home now."

Gee, thanks guys.

I was looking for the perfect chance to waste gas, time, and one of my absences.

I'll write again sometime with some of my stories about shoppers.

I've got some interesting ones there.


A Tale of Wedding Cake Retail Hell

Story timeFrom Veronica:

I was a cake decorator at a major grocery store before I left it to raise my sons at home and I never regret a day of it. 

The worst experience was when our store used to make wedding cakes. First off, outside of baking and frosting your own cake, a grocery store wedding cake cannot get any cheaper.  Yet, people would come in and complain about having to pay $110 dollars for a cake that feeds 150 people. For comparison sake, I paid 600 dollars for my wedding cake at a REAL wedding cake designer/baker and it fed 250 people and even that is considered pretty cheap.  Second, women who plan their own weddings are the rudest bitches on the planet. It's as if the whole world needs to stop and focus on HER wedding!

So on top of all my daily baking and no extra pay, I would have to deal with women who didn't care about anything else then themselves and of course how cheap could they get it for. 

We used to have several rules at the bakery, but of course if the person got the right manager and bitched louder they could get anything they want, which leads me to the very last wedding cake I ever made for the store. 

The customer comes in about 2 weeks before the wedding and orders the cake, which is not unusual since most people who use grocery stores have no concept of time and planning. The transaction is normal and actually quite pleasant.

Fast forward to the day of pick up- complete 360 and the bitch from hell shows up. 

First the bitch swears the cake is not the one she ordered.

Second she all of a sudden has no memory of ever talking to me the decorator, even though she took 25 minutes going over every ridiculous detail.

Third, she produces some picture of a cake that our bakery doesn't even produce. 

The last and final draw was when it came time to pay.

The crazy bitch whips out her EBT card. 

Food Stamps! 

My jaw hit the floor because we don't take EBT cards for decorated cakes/party trays/5 foot sub sandwiches and I knew this cake that took me 4 hours was going to crush my shrink quota. 

Long story short, my manager ended up calling up the department of social services to check to see if someone COULD use food stamps to purchase a wedding cake and the woman on the other line said, "As long as said food is for human consumption and is not heated, alcoholic, or an energy drink- it's valid." 

So guess who got their wedding cake for free? 

Dumbass New Years Eve Custy

Skully4 From Riferous

Here's a Dumbass Custy for you. 

I get a phone call. To sum up, the guy says he has called five times for Floral, and the people answering the phone know there is nobody in Floral, but they keep paging them anyway.  He's upset and feeling disrespected, so he asked for the manager, which is me. 

I finally ask him what it is that he needs, and he needs to know if we have lilies. 

I, not being a Floral clerk and not being anywhere near Floral, say that I don't know, I'll have to go look. I heard the sound that you all know, the inarticulate gust of wind that says "You don't know what you sell in your own store?", so I say I'll be just a second and put him on hold.

Now keep in mind that today is December 31, and our wonderful government decided to hand out Food Stamps a day early because of the holiday, as if we didn't have enough to deal with, so we are busy as shit, and I'm in a bad mood to boot. 

So on my way to Floral I call up to the front desk to see if this guy has really called 5 times, and the lady that answered said, "Seriously, yes," which should have been my first clue, but I instead expressed my frustration with the fact that he had not been helped yet.

So, I see that no, we do not have lilies, but we do have a special on roses. I tell him the several colors that we have, and he decides on three dozen. I tell him that I will have them ready for him in a few minutes, he says he will be in shortly, all is well. 

Or so I think.Cbooze  

I wrapped them and left them in the cooler, and tell the other lady at the desk that they are ready and where they are.

This other clerk tells me that she answered the phone for the guy three times, because - and here's where I realize that we are not, in fact, at fault - she told him that there was nobody in Floral, and she would help him as soon as she could, but they had a line at the office as well, and put him on hold. (Busy as hell, remember.) So apparently he thinks that he will get helped faster if he hangs up and calls back, and this is why he has called five times, not because he hung on the phone forever waiting for somebody to answer.

But it gets better.

When he came in for the flowers, he asked for me, but the clerk knew what he wanted, so she said that she would help him. He said, "Good, I didn't want to deal with him anyway. He made me mad."

WHAT THE FUCK???  How did I make him mad, by doing his shopping for him?

Oh well.  Gotta go unload a truck.  Maybe a skid will fall on me.

Happy Fucking New Year!