Bad Customer Service: "I Can't Call You From My Phone!"


Jason NyerpFrom RHUer

I once went to a pay phone to report a problem with my home phone line.


It was discovered that none of the phones on my street were working and I volunteered to walk downtown and make the call.

Me: "I would like to make a report on an outage."

Support: "I'm sorry, I'm not recognizing your number as having an account with us."

Me: "I'm calling from a pay phone."

Support: "I can't help you unless you make your call from a phone that has an account with us, sir."

Me: "My neighborhood is having an outage. I can give you my account information if you need me to."

Support: "Sir, I do not recognize the number you are calling from. You need to go home and call us back from a phone that has an account with us."

Me: "I can't. We're having an outage."

Support: "I am trying to help you with your problem sir, but I cannot help you unless you call with a phone that has an account with us."

Me: "I HAVE an account, but my phone is non operational! My phone is not working! I cannot call you from a phone that is not working! My entire block is without phone services!"

Five minutes. It took five minutes before this nitwit understood and would take my account phone number and account information verbally rather than from their caller ID.



Monstrous Customers: Trying to help but you clearly don't want it. Thanks for the abuse, enjoy your phone robot hell.



From  u/TinHawk Tales From Retail:

I work in a big box electronics retail store. I recently got stuck answering phones.

Me: Thank you for calling [electronics retailer], how can I help you?

Customer, very loud voice, clearly frustrated: is this [tech support company who works in the store]?

Me: No, sir, this is [electronics retailer], but [tech support company] is in the store here. Maybe I can help. What's the issue?

(90% of these issues don't need to be transferred)

Customer screams the name of the tech support company in my ear.

Me: Sir, in order to get you to the correct person, I need more info. What's going on?

Customer screams the name of the company again, slower and louder in my ear.

Me, done completely with this guy, transfers him to the corporate robot line.

Moral of the story: look, I'm a human. I get you're frustrated, but i don't deserve to be treated like that. Especially since i had literally zero to do with why you're upset. If you treat people in customer service like they're idiots or less than humans, you're going to be forced to talk to robots instead. And that tech support robot is the actual worst.

Update: He called back today and did it again. I wonder how many times we will do this dance, sir.





Justice Served: "If You Have Time To Lean..."


F2From RHUer

My manager was absolutely anal about that loathed phrase, "If you have time to lean, you have time to clean!"

Stop to take a drink of water? The phrase was bellowed across the store.

Pause to retie that damn shoelace you keep tripping over? Storming over to you to snarl it in your ear as you struggle to balance on one foot.

Slip on something and have to grab a shelf to avoid landing on your ass? Crank it up to Volume 11, people!

Now keep in mind, our place can only be kept so clean during business hours. Even mopping the floor is only ever done before or after hours, because nobody has the time to mop around half a dozen customers who are trying to shop for their product.

So short of randomly tugging a clorox wipe out of its bottle and giving the front counter a cursory wipe, cleaning instead of leaning is utter bullshit. We have other duties, and it's not unreasonable to do the minor aforementioned things.

But my manager won't hear of it. So I finally got fed up and grabbed a disposable camera... or five... and was on my manager like a paparazzi on the tanned buttcheeks of a supermodel wearing a bikini. For five days that week, I filled my camera with instances of him "leaning" against random things. I learned that he was a "Do as I say, not as I do," kind of guy. It filled me with vindictive pleasure to get shots of him leaning but not cleaning.

The following week, I ninja'd my ass into the breakroom and tacked Every. Single. Picture. to the Announcements pegboard. I wallpapered that cork board and the wall around it with pictures of my manager leaning against all sorts of shit. I hung a custom made banner with my manager's FAVORITE line above them all.

Then I left it alone.

The manager came in at noon.


My photos and banner disappeared without fanfare.

The entire day was spent blissfully unbothered by my manager's usual bellowing of the phrase. The day stretched to a week. Then to a month. Six months later, I got a job somewhere else. I never again heard that phrase so much as whispered in that store.

I forget what it cost to get all that stuff made, but the final verdict was: "Worth it."