Justice Served: It's Who You Know



A buddy of mine shared this story with me. A coworker mixed his entitlement with bad parking in a company parking lot.

Now, parking was a little limited here: you got your parking spot with your name on it, and that was where you parked. Everybody who is an employee has a spot, so anybody parking in your spot will experience some retaliation. Towing was common. Ticketing and towing was a sweet double deal.

But my buddy? He was going to take no shit, and he made it damn clear that not only was he a genius, but he was an EVIL genius.

One of the engineers in his department got a brand new BMW, and proceeded to speshul sneuxflayke his way into trouble. Deciding that he couldn't POSSIBLY suffer for his life choices in any way, he parked across both his AND my buddy's parking space one morning; taking them both up.

Well, the company had several gantry cranes, like the ones you would use to move stacked cargo container boxes. My buddy, for the cost of a six pack of ice cold soda, got one of the crane operators to pick the offending car up. It was then set down in between two chilling units for the environmental systems in the building. There was about three inches of clearance between the car doors and the chillers.

The chillers were inside a chain link fence.

The BMW owner got the message.



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Justice Served: Adding Insult To Injury



I was driving long haul, into the Chicago area, near Marshall Field's rear docks.

That street was narrow, so it had signs about no parking. Trucks could not make the turn if there was a car near the corner.

Well some pea brained idiot decided to plant their ass between the 'no parking' signs.... I guess thinking they could pretend that they weren't parked under the sign, therefore they were exempt.

Well, along comes my truck, and find myself stuck. I can't back up, and to go forward would involve destroying the car.

A traffic cop came along and instructed me to run over the idiot's vehicle if I had to. You guessed it: my truck took the nose off that car.

The officer added insult to injury by putting two citations on the car. One was for parking in the no parking zone. The other? My huge ass truck not only destroyed its front end, but it also shoved the itty bitty little car pretty far up onto the curb!

I would have loved to have seen the look on that pea brained idiot's face when he saw the damage and the citations.

It certainly cured the problem of people parking there, for a little while anyhow!



Parking Hogs: Windshield Revenge


Jason confusedFrom RHUer

Before retiring, I drove a tractor trailer and the trailers I moved had MRI or CT or PET Scan machines in them. Most hospital driveways are not made for trucks, so we needed every inch and then some. I had many experiences of inconsiderate drivers.

I have to say that I already had two retirements secured, so this was an insurance retirement I was working on.

We had this doctor visiting from another state and he parked right beside the no parking sign advising them that a medical trailer parked there, so every week when I arrived I would have to get security to have him come out and move his car.

About the third week he came out with remarks that it was ridiculous for him, an emergency room doctor, to have to move his car.

I proceeded to tell him his job was no more important than the person that cleaned the room that he worked in. That we all had jobs to do to ensure the patients got the best care possible.

He moved his car, walked back by the trailer and thanked me for a reality check.... next week he was parked there again.

And then something mysterious happened! SOMEONE acquired windshield markers and wrote rude messages on EVERY window of his car! They were so mean too! Calling him an entitled douchebag. Telling him he's too stupid to have a driver's license. Asking him how he could be a doctor when he can't even figure out how to park in the doctor's parking lot. Stuff like that.

Nobody knows who could have done something like that. One of the great mysteries of the universe, I tell you!

But he never parked there again.



Parking Hogs: The Fire Road Is For Special Parking


Badge 666From RHUer

All right let me set the scene... The gym where I work has a lovely, large parking lot. There are many spaces, with plenty of spots for everyone, front and back. Down one side of the building is a clearly marked fire road, complete with signs indicating that it is not a place to put your car. Drive-through only, red curbs and lines on the pavement. Yadda yadda yadda.

Naturally, all the entitled yuppies want to park in the front parking lot of my gym, which only hold about 20 cars. They, of course, don't want to park in the rear parking lot and have to walk a few more yards. (You're at a gym for Thrognar's sake! This is the one place you should willingly park far away and WALK!)

Instead, guess where they park instead? If you guessed that they park along the fire road that goes down the side of the building, DING DING DING! You win!

Now the fire road is, of course, meant for only one vehicle.... a fire truck. It is basically a one-way-at-a-time road, so if a vehicle is driving through it to get to the back lot, you run the risk of peeling the side of your car off trying to use the road to go the other way at the same time. (Hint, use the two-way road on the OTHER side of the building, stupid!)

I don't think they could even ram them out of the way because we're talking about a line of maybe 8-10 cars clogging this thing.

We make phone calls regularly, and I often smile, seeing a line of ticketed cars.

The biggest buzzkill? The tickets, somehow, don't seem to be deterring anybody. I guess paying a parking ticket for "special" parking is considered a worthy cost?