From SamuraiSpecialty, TalesFromRetail
After starting as a bagger, I was promoted to working in produce six months in and then promoted to grocery 3 months later. Grocery at my store was in charge of making sure boxed products were regularly stocked and that all products in the store were "faced." Facing products means making sure the products looked neat and presentable to the customers.
I worked alongside a guy named Mark, and Mark loved Mortal Kombat and so did I. This was back in the early 2000's so we often talked about the arcade trilogy while doing our job. We talked about the best characters, the worst ones, best combos to use, best fatalities, etc, pretty much every shift. I always had a blast working with Mark.
One day, I was telling Mark about how Sub-Zero's famous spine rip fatality caused the beginning of the ESRB rating system, and one lady, we will call her Fundamentalist bitch, stomped over to us.
FB: "Excuse me, but are you talking about Mortal Kombat?"
Me: "Yes ma'am. Do you-"
FB: "YOU SINNER! DO YOU REALIZE YOU WILL GO TO HELL FOR PLAYING SUCH DEMONIZING THINGS?"
In a state of utter shock I try to calm her down.
Me: "Uh, M-Ms. I'm a Christian and I don't really think I-"
FB: "YOU LIAR HOW DARE YOU TRY TO SLATHER (Slather? Do you think she meant 'slander'?) GOD'S NAME! JESUS WOULD NOT PLAY MORTAL KOMBAT! YOU MUST BE PURGED OF YOUR DEMONS!!"
Me: "Miss please, there's no need for this. As I said I'm a Christian, and am fully aware of my faith. Please stop-"
Aaaaaaaaannnnndddd then she starts throwing water on me and Mark and chanting. Loudly.
Me: "What the Hell?! Stop lady and get out now!"
FB: "Oh Lord, cleanse this pagan of his sins and purify his soul and this place of Satan!" This is exactly what she said over and over.
Mark then smacks the lady's bottle of her hand, breaking it and, get this, a cop who just got off duty saw this go down and escorted her out. Meanwhile, I go to the bathroom and dry off her "Holy Water" dismayed about the whole situation. Apparently, saying you're a Christian makes you a sinner and a pagan.
I'm not done. A few months later she comes back and starts asking everyone that "Do you know about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?" question to everyone in the store, pissing off alot of customers.
I personally hate when people are do this, because I believe shoving my faith down people's throats are the exact opposite of what being a Christian is. So I go up to her to tell her to stop.
Me: "Miss I understand you want to spread your faith but this not the way to go about it. You need to stop or leave now."
FB: "You! You're that kid who desecrated the name of our Lord and destroyed my Holy water. How dare you try to persecute me! YOU WILL BURN IN HELL!"
Activating SuperSaiyanMode.exe in 3...2...1.
Me: "You listen to me. I told you once before, I am a Christian, but you would not have it. You have constantly insulted me and made yourself look like a dumb bitch. The only one I see that needs improvement is you you stupid cunt. My faith and the religious views of everyone in this store, is none of your damn business. Get. Out. Of. My. Fucking. Store. Now."
Yeah I was fired a day later.