I work in a small retail pharmacy, and my manager has the worst case of Napoleon Syndrome I’ve ever encountered in my entire life. He’s constantly talking about how our pharmacy is the easiest store he’s ever worked at, yet can’t seem to complete the simplest of tasks. He has cholera of the mouth and tortures everyone around him with his endless banter about golf, his gym workouts, weekly haircuts, obsession with diet Mountain Dew, strippers and detailing pretty much every single sexual encounter he’s ever had. I get to hear about how he used to bang so and so at this pharmacy, that wedding, that prostitute, that photo clerk at Walgreens who gave him an STD, etc., to the point where I want to shove knitting needles in my ears.
Now I come from a military family and have a twisted sense of humor, but my boss will turn practically every normal conversation into something perverted. The other day he was telling me how his 9 year old son (who’s mom is a former stripper—surprised??) told him he wanted to play golf for once, and hearing that was as good as hearing his ex girlfriend (who left him for her former abusive ex husband) wanted to have a threesome with her best friend. Normally he calls his son a pussy for not liking sports the way he does.
Hold on, it gets better. He’s insanely jealous of the other staff pharmacist who literally runs circles around him. A customer who at one time told me said staff pharmacist had a nice butt, when she asked where he was on his off day I jokingly said, “You mean the one with the nice ass?” and we both shared a laugh.
Well after she walked away he instantly retorted, “My ass in nicer and I’ve got a bigger dick!”
I can’t make this up, folks. He really does think he’s God’s gift to women, yet lacks the mental capacity to find it odd that if he’s so great and such a porn star in the sack, why the only way he can get laid is by coercing desperate single moms and strippers with pills and loads of cash to sleep with him.
We can all laugh and roll our eyes at how pathetically egotistical he is, but what’s really not funny is how entitled and above everyone else he believes he is. Last summer, after not even being at our store for a year, he called corporate and gave them a made up story about how he was leaving to work at another retail chain when he had no intention of ever accepting that job. They gave him a substantial raise immediately! He’s salaried and on the days he’s scheduled he will leave 4 hours early, or take an entire day off on the company’s dime.
And ask him to do anything, no matter how polite, he will take personal offense to it and will go out of his way to not only refuse to do it, but also be a passive aggressive jackass about it.
One of our assistant managers complained to me that somebody was deliberately throwing paper towels on the floor in the men’s bathroom and she thought it was him.
I asked him about it and he lied and said, “I don’t like touching the dirty door handle so I use a paper towel and once in a blue moon miss the trash can. Whoopti-fucking-do.”
I said, “Well, she said it’s pretty much every day.”
And he immediately blows up and says, “She should be more worried about me shutting down this whole God damn store when I call the health department because there’s never any fucking soap!”
He reminds me of Donald Trump when asked a question he doesn’t like.
There’s so much more I could add, this is but a mere sample of what we deal with. While I do not enjoy working with him, at least others can enjoy the stories about my walking dick boss.
Oof. Wow. Okay something that might be good for everyone to know: his behavior can be considered illegal sexual harassment behavior! There are some criteria for this:
1. Sexual behavior that is
2. Unwelcome to the recipient, that is
3. Severe or pervasive enough to interfere with work, and that
4. the employer knew, or should have known, about it and did not take effective action to stop it.
Looking at your situation, you certainly have factors 1 and 2, which is probably enough to violate your company’s policies right there. If this sex talk really goes on every day, you have factor 3 covered, as well.
Has anyone reported this to HR, the legal department, or higher management? And has nothing been done to stop it? If so, then you will have factor 4.
But if no one has spoken up, now is the time to do it! The manager is creating a hostile work environment for everyone who does not want to hear about his bedroom exploits, and the way he talks about other employees is making it ripe for a lawsuit from every employee he talks about that way.
(I know a customer initiated the 'nice ass' comment, which should be grounds for banning the customer BTW, but his comment of “My ass in nicer and I’ve got a bigger dick!” is also very inappropriate and still sets him up for trouble.)
If you let HR know, they should jump on this situation. If you tell them that he doesn't get any work done and tends to leave early, they might jump on him for that too: most companies want their money to be well spent and don't like hearing about someone violating the salaried employee rules either.