Hey there RHU, just wanted to impart a little bit of wisdom!

In case you're not big on posting comments, RHU uses Typepad to schedule and post your stories, photos and comments. Once in a while, Typepad will be having issues. This usually results in site errors, trouble posting comments, trouble loading the site, etc.

Now we admit, sometimes doubles get posted; this is usually because Ilia (Me) likes to schedule stuff ahead of time. This usually also means that the upcoming month is mostly done long before the 1st even gets here. (We have time slots that we use, but we also leave a couple free for your submitted content, so don't ever feel like you missed your chance to send us something!) Freddy schedules a few days in advance. While we do try to coordinate and communicate, sometimes things happen.

Don't be afraid to send an email to [email protected] if you saw that picture last week! (Also don't be afraid to call on us if we've got a troll in the dungeon.)

However, if the site is loading funny, or you can't login to post a comment, or other such side-browsing issues, chances are good that Typepad is down.

Pay a visit to: http://status.typepad.com/ (seriously, click it and bookmark it) to find out what's going on. It's pretty likely that Freddy and/or Ilia are already beating their heads against the wall because they're trying to get content up for you to enjoy in the future and the site's giving us the middle finger as well. XD

Anyway, we want to wish you a very Happy And Safe New Year.

Has anybody else ever reverse-sabotaged themselves at work?

For example, a few years back I worked as a rock climbing instructor at a gym owned by an enormous prolapsed asshole. I had gotten myself on his shit list for being vocally annoyed that I had been assigned as the only instructor/supervision for a group of 30 or so tweens who were having a birthday party. I just wanted help keeping these kids alive, since that age group tends to do stupid things anyway, and when you give them access to a 50 foot climbing wall, you're just asking for trouble.

Anyway, Fartbrain McGee was unhappy with me and since I couldn't afford to be jobless right then, I hatched a plan. I filled out one of the waivers we made people sign before climbing for a fictitious person and created a throwaway email account for this purpose. When I got the expected survey I proceeded to give myself a glowing, yet still believable, review. It was enough to get back in his good graces for a while, at least.

I don't always get good reviews, but when I do, I write them myself.
Stay sane, my friends.

-Dweazzle

From: Timekeeper's Twit

I live 35 to 40 min away from work, only get four hours at a time, and really only once a week. I'm lucky to get two days. It's annoying because I know it's not entirely my manager's fault. I've seen the chart that Home Office sent with the allotted hours.

However, I have told him I need at least six hours to make the trip worthwhile for me. It hasn't happened yet.

One of my other pet peeves is that I do not get my schedule until at least 5:00 on Saturday, and my week starts on Sunday. So I never know what time I am working. (It's usually the same days though, because I actually have another job that's not retail during the week, but it's only part time with VERY minimal hours as well. Whole other story.)

This makes it difficult because I can't drive. It sucks having to tell my husband at the last minute, "Oh yeah I work tomorrow!" Because he works too and it's hard to get another ride if I need it. There is no public transit from where I live to where I go.

I've been debating with myself, because really I need both jobs. I need all the money I can get right now, and I am supposed to go on maternity leave at the end of May. So I don't know if it's worth just quitting now, or waiting or what? I've been there for five years now. It's tough.

--Timekeeper's Twit

From: Janitorgirl

Hello, it's Janitorgirl with a question for all my fellow cart warriors. (When you have to maneuver around 1 to 10 aggressive cars in a single cart run you are a warrior, not just a cart grabber.)

I have a question- lets say I have a ton of other stuff to do and the cart area is empty- and people treat it as a public space- what do you do?

The worst was around Christmas a group of 10 people started talking in the empty cart area. I pulled in row after row of carts but they didn't move (and ignored my pitiful 'excuse me's) so after a while I called it quits and worked on something else.

But today someone parked their elderly wheelchair bound grandpa in the middle of my cart area. I could not make a single row without hitting him. I asked security for help. He thought I was joking and said I should wait it out.

Then a manager passed by and I asked, "What do I do?"

Her answer was "put carts directly in front of the entrance" (something we are not allowed to do as a fire hazard,) "or go work on something else. "

Fine- thanks for the invite. I went to the backroom to work on the many tasks that were still unfinished after 12 hours, and left my heroic co-worker to deal with cart drama.

But seriously- what do you do when custy's are in your cart space?

Thank you for any advice,

--Janitorgirl

From: Finder Queen

Ok guys been quite some time since I posted I know. However I recently find myself without employment. I'll post the stories another date because the reason is so damned silly to lose a job over.

That being said i find myself needing to find a job ASAP. My lease is about to end, just put a deposit down for my new apartment then boom fired. So I need ideas on how to brush up my resume, job industries to apply for.

I can do cashiering, sales floor, customer services, security, jewelry, and other things related to those. I just need something NOW so I can not worry about paying my rent for my new place and not end up homeless.

--Finder Queen

 -------------------------

From: Ilia

For handling interview questions, visit this link: Common And Unusual Job Interview Questions And Their Answers

For brushing up your resume, we have: Resume Advice For Finding A Better Job

There are also job search websites you can use.

http://www.indeed.com/ is one of the best.

I will warn you: for the love of Thrognar, unless you want to sell insurance door to do, stay AWAY from monster.com or yahoo hot jobs!

I made a profile saying that I was looking for medical administrative job only. I was then was solicited once a week by companies who wanted me to sell insurance door-to-door for them. In order to do so, you first had to take a $1,500 class to learn how, and IF (I cannot emphasis the "If" enough) they decided you were worthy of hiring, they would waive the cost of the class.

Otherwise you still had no job and were in debt for the $1,500.

They kept promising me that it would be soooo easy to become a manager if I did a good job, and how MUCH money I could potentially make. They kept trying to sweep the cost of the class under the rug and downplay it, and when I told them that unless they had a job in my field, that they were wasting my time, they got sulky.

I was wise enough not to take the bait, but in the end, the "insurance company" was the ONLY contact I ever got using those sites.

RHU, if you have any further advice, please share it!

--Ilia

PrintMistress emerging again...

Since this month's subject is leaving hellish jobs, I thought I'd chime in with some tips for creating strong resumes. I've worked in print shops for about four years and have seen some gorgeous resumes, some long-winded ones, some "this is what Microsoft told me a resume looks like" ones, and some that are just utterly perplexing (why is your resume written in Notepad?!). Here are some resume creation tips straight from the keyboard of an RHUer that may help.

1. Do get someone to proofread your work; spellcheck can only do so much. Have a literate buddy check your spelling, grammar, and wording, as well as formatting (are there any awkward line breaks? Or weird spaces? Or missing/added punctuation?) These elements count, no matter what job it is you're trying to get. Remember, your resume is more than just a fancy bit of paper - it is one of the keys to a potentially better livelihood - so take care of it and make it look presentable. Include basic contact info (mailing address, working telephone number, professional-looking e-mail address). Do not include ID or social security numbers, information about your age or appearance, or your life story.

2. Be prepared to explain gaps in your resume, and do so honestly. Shit happens - you can become suddenly unemployed for a number of reasons. Or perhaps you took some personal time to explore the world or work on a personal project. Whatever it is, be sure to acknowledge it briefly either in the resume itself or in a cover letter. You can explain more if you land an interview - and again, be honest! A gap in your resume is not necessarily a deal-breaker, but lying is.

3. For your education section, omit GPAs if they're below 3.0. They can be omitted entirely if it's been 3 years or more since you graduated. If you've completed college, you can omit your high school or whatever equivalent entirely from your resume (though not from your memory...sorry). Omit after-school activities unless relevant to the position for which you're applying.

4. Facebook and Twitter are not skills. Do not put them in a computer skills section. Glued to your feed does not equal "social media management" unless you got paid to do it by an actual entity; in such cases, list that under the job's description. This goes for any skill. If you feel like it's worth putting on your resume, you better be able to prove that you can do it.

5. Keep hobbies/honors/interests to a minimum unless, again, it's relevant to the job opening.

6. From a printer's perspective: If you are printing your resume at a print shop,follow these guidelines - 1) Save your file as a PDF. A PDF will preserve your formatting, which is especially helpful if you and your printer run different versions of Word, have different operating systems, or if they don't have that super-special font you spent hours selecting. 2) Spring for actual resume paper. The only reason you should ever have a plain paper copy made of a resume is for reference or proofreading. Selecting a slightly nicer stock shows that you actually care about what you are presenting. Do, however, stay away from papers described as "laid". Laid paper had a ladder-like texture to it intended to mimic the trays on which hand-made paper is produced. Sounds fancy, but looks like Cottonelle. Avoid anything that looks like parchment or has a "fiber" or dotted pattern. These tend to look dated. Stick with white or ivory business or resume paper. 3) Use color sparingly as an accent if you are willing to pony up more cash for color printing. It can look fresh and modern if used properly, like for headings or a monogram/design element. 4) Avoid double-sided printing. The people who end up reading resumes tend not to like having to flip them over too much. In that same vein, a paperclip is more preferable than a staple when fastening multiple pages together. 5) If printing at home, make sure there are no ink/toner smudges on your paper. 6) If you're feeling extra fancy, make matching business cards. Include your name, contact info, and if space allows, a 1-2 line summary of your qualifications.

7. Do not roll or fold your resume. Do not write on it. Keep it nice and clean in a professional-looking folder.

8. Are you a model or actor? No? Then do not include a picture anywhere near your resume (unless required to do so where you live). You want to be hired based on your skills, not your appearance. Declining to use a picture helps decrease the likelihood of discrimination. Some people disagree on this point, saying that since we're living in the 21st century, people are leaning more toward visual cues. If your resume somehow does require some sort of portrait to be included, be smart about it. No sunglasses or hats. Use the same photo between both your resume and your social media (if relevant to the job). Most smartphones actually have decent cameras now, so there's often no need to hire a professional photographer for a simple headshot. Experiment with caution - it would likely be better to leave a picture with a potential employer AFTER meeting with them (to connect face + name). Perhaps it would be better suited to the extra-fancy complementary business card in #6 so it is not intrusive. In the vast majority of cases, though, do not include a photo.

9. If you need to use a template, use the correct one. This one, for example, can go directly to hell. I've printed thousands of resumes, hundreds of which use this very dated template. MS Word's newest templates seem to be going in the right direction, using minimalist design and sparing use of color. A quick Google search for "modern resume templates" yields loads of quality results. Make sure to use a font that is easy to read. Nothing too fancy or crazy looking. Keep the resume itself to 1-2 pages. References may be added in a separate section or on a separate sheet. If your resume just seems a tad too long, some creative editing or margin sizing may be in order. If your resume is beginning to look like a screenplay, consider limiting your job experiences to whatever is most relevant or limit it to 15 years or less (unless you have a super-spectacular job way back in your work history that is relevant to the one you're applying for - then go ahead and include that one.)

10. Finally, know by heart what is on your resume before you head into that interview. A well-formatted and beautifully printed resume is nice, but the ultimate feature is YOU. If you were a film, the resume would be your trailer - it shows enough to inform the viewer (or hiring manager), but makes a good enough case and creates enough intrigue for them to actually buy a ticket. It is up to you to be able to explain points on your resume without having to reach for it after every question. Typing your resume, picking your best outfit, and practicing your best interview manners are all means to improve YOUR pay or YOUR experience...in the end it's all about YOU!

These are just ten of the things I've noticed while either designing and printing resumes or assisting with interviews. A lot of it is stating the obvious, but sometimes what seems obvious to most of us seems to fly right by other people. Since RHU is taking a look at escaping work hell, it follows that another, hopefully less shitty (and more awesome) job is in your future.

--PrintMistress