From u/unaspirateur Tales From Retail:

Girl: I got this hairbrush on a buy one get one free deal, but I don't actually need it. Can I return it?

Me: I could do an even exchange for another hair product?

Girl: can I get store credit? I wanted to buy makeup.

Me: I can't really return something you didn't pay for...

Girl: I have my receipt right here!

Me: Right. But you paid Zero Dollars for it.

Girl: Well can I return it without a receipt

Me: [seething internally] I guess. But I don't know how much you'll get back?

[return comes to 2.67]

Girl: That's it? But this was a seven dollar hairbrush?!

Me: That you paid Zero. Dollars. For.

Girl: Ugh. I guess I'll just keep it!

And then fire rained from the sky, and there were no survivors.

--u/unaspirateur

From u/Goatboy6947, TalesFromTheCustomer

This is a tale of a poor retail experience, with a belligerent and obnoxious store owner, who thought he was above the law.

These events took place some time ago, and started when I noticed a couple of ties I’d bought were faulty. The fabric was bunching, which made the ties unpresentable and they were only a couple of weeks old. At $50 each, these weren’t expensive ties, but getting more than a couple of weeks wear seemed reasonable. A friend with a background in the clothing industry looked at them, and advised this was poor workmanship.

Not expecting this to be a big deal, I headed to the clothing store to return them. Or rather, attempted to. I explained the issue to the store owner, showed him the state of the ties, and emphasised I was happy to swap them and wasn’t necessarily looking for a refund. In my experience exchanging goods is a straightforward process, particularly when the purchase was recent and he problem evident. But not here. For clarity, this was a small chain of clothing stores with what appeared to be a single owner (who I was dealing with).

Immediately this man became belligerent. He looked over the ties carefully and claimed nothing was wrong with them. I pointed out the obvious defects, to which he announced that ironing would sort it out. Like a cheap showman, he flourished an iron and went to work on the ties. When he finished, they were exactly the same.

By now I’d had enough, and told him I wasn’t interested in wasting any more time, and I’ll take a refund thank you very much. At this point, he lost it, and started screaming and gesticulating, claiming I was there to rip him off etc... I took the worthless ties and left.

Normally, I would have forgotten about it, as a hundred bucks isn’t worth wasting a lot of time over. However my employer was imploding due to the owners infighting, and I had more time than usual on my hands. And given this guy’s over the top attitude, I decided to file a complaint with the government consumer board.

Shortly there was a hearing. The owner appeared to defend himself. I told my tale and showed the state of the ties to the arbitrator. Predictably the owner was pissed and carried on like he was the aggrieved party. The arbitrator saw right through him, ruled in my favour, and he was instructed to refund my money.

The following day I showed up to collect my cash, and unsurprisingly, he refused to pay and suggested I go and reproduce with myself.

So, I contacted the board who told me to take the ‘judgement’ (I can’t remember the exact term) to the Sheriff’s department who would collect the money on my behalf.

Weeks went by and I forgot all about it, when I was contacted by the board to come in and meet with the owner.

In the meeting room was the arbitrator, the owner, and his wife. Now, as this guy (the owner) sat at the table he was a partial shade of red, and a vein pulsing in his forehead was threatening to burst. I imagined he was pissed at being dragged in to actually pay up, but it was more than that.

As I sat down, he started to rant. He owned a chain of stores, and the sheriff paid a visit to his most exclusive one, located next to a luxury hotel. Because of the address, this location sold more expensive goods than his other stores.

I assumed the sheriff just rocked up and demanded payment. But no, in a case where the party hadn’t paid up, the sheriff will seize goods to be auctioned for the debt. This is the fun part (for me anyway). Because goods at auction fetch much lower than retail prices, the sheriff has discretion as to how much he takes. Consequently, he decided a fair amount of goods to seize was an entire rack of expensive suits. From the description, this might have been ten thousand dollars worth of merchandise.

Not only was the obnoxious owner out a tonne of stock, but a sheriff had barged into his flagship store, and created a ruckus, which wasn’t exactly great for his brand.

In the meeting the owner was almost hyperventilating at the arbitrator, who calmly explained that he had chosen to ignore his obligation and this was the consequence. His goods had yet to be auctioned, so he was given the option of paying now, and his suits would be returned to him. However, he would also have to pay additional fees for the sheriff’s time and effort.

Spluttering objections, he took out a hundred bucks and flung it across the table at me. I smiled graciously, took the money, and wished him well.

--u/Goatboy6947

From u/Claxton916  Tales From Retail:

I work at a big box retail store that's pretty exclusively in the Midwest, specifically I'm in flooring/window treatments. Our store's policy on returns is that we accept everything unless it's like a bucket of mortar that you used half of. We are willing to take blinds back even if we cut them, we just defect them out immediately.

I'm pretty good at what I do, I rarely break blinds because I know how to handle them properly.

Today a lady came in with blinds that were already cut, but she told me she needed another half inch removed off it. She practically shoved the blinds into my arms and walked away.

As I opened the box I saw that the aluminum slats were bent in such a manner that A) They're unusable, at least in a good home. B) They won't fit into my trimmer.

I went to see if I had another blind to replace it, but there were none on the shelf and an out of stock tag was in place so I went to my computer to see if maybe I have some in order or if another store has them, but unfortunately no.

I went back to the aisle where I began to tell the lady that because her blinds were bent I couldn't cut them, I was about to tell her she could still return them for a full refund before she cut me off and in an exaggerated tone said "you broke them, they weren't broken when I came here."

I told her that I'm sure I didn't break them.

"I spend THOUSANDS of dollars here. I'm going to talk to your manager about this, what's your name." She bitched

"My name is u/Claxton916, unfortunately my manager is not in the department so you'll have to go to the front and talk to a GM there."

"I will"

"Alright you have fun and a good evening ma'am."

All she wanted was a full refund and to return them, but she didn't think she could so she blew it out of proportion.

I know I'm not gonna get in trouble because in the 7.5 months of working here I have never once had a complaint about me from a guest.

--u/Claxton916

From u/OMG_A_Thing, Tales From Retail:

So I recently got out of my retail job and into a job as a Network Engineer (what my degree is in)! To commemorate, here is a wonderful story about my last day at work. Also on mobile, so blah blah blah.

I worked bookkeeping at my retail job, but since that only took me about half of my scheduled shift, I’d go work the floor or the service desk to finish my hours. On my last day, I chose to do service desk, mostly because one of my friends was working the desk too.

ML is mower lady. Me is me. L is friend. R is another employee that works service desk. Also it’s been a rather rainy, bleh day.

L is working one of the returns register and a middle aged woman walks in with her well-used mower. L calls out to her and begins the transaction.

ML: I just bought the mower last week and now it won’t even start. I am in a hurry so can I just return it and get a different one.

L: since it’s within our return policy for gas powered products, we can do that, we just need a receipt.

ML: i don’t have the receipt, but can you look it up on [store] credit card? I’m not sure if I bought it on my [store] credit card or my husbands.

L: We can look, but I cannot return gas powered products without a receipt.

ML, starting to get angry: I know your return policy, that’s why I brought it back now and not in a month. I don’t know what your accusing me of.

Me, inwardly: this is going to be a good one.

L, calm and courteous: ma’am I was just letting you know our policy. Go ahead and swipe your credit card and I pull your receipt.

ML does so, while muttering under her breath.

L: it’s not coming up under this card. Are you an authorized buyer on your husband’s card?

ML, comes uncorked: this is unacceptable. I came out here an a rainy day. I packed up this mower BY MYSELF and brought it all the way here! Give me store credit! I AM NOT DEALING WITH THIS TODAY!

Me, since it’s me last day, to my customers, loudly: thanks for being great customers! I hope you have an amazing day since you guys have been so great!

Customer, loudly: I hope you get through your day without dealing with the crazies, although it doesn’t appear that’ll happen.

ML gives them a death glare.

L, still being professional: we cannot take this mower back unless we have a receipt. We can give you store credit, but not without a receipt.

ML: I know R! R is my best friend and she wouldn’t let me be treated this way.

I had to walk around the corner because I know R and R would smack one of her friends upside the head for behaving this way. R is an older lady who doesn’t let people mistreat other people.

L: ma’am, if you go down to tool rental, they can take a look at your mower.

ML: manager. I want a manager now. R wouldn’t let this happen.

L calls for the manager. ML decides she isn’t going to stand around while everyone stares at her.

ML goes to tool rental and about 5 minutes later runs out of the store like she was trying to outrun the zombie apocalypse.

I walk down to tool rental to get the full story. They pulled the manufacturer's warranty and saw that it expired in 2006. Upon confronting ML, she spewed cuss words and left.

--

From u/Morktorknak Tales From Retail:

So I work in cell phone sales and we always get just the best most lovely and forward thinking customers every day /s

This particular gentleman came in to ask a few questions about his account as he seems to have his service interrupted so I assumed it was going to be something simple.

C: My number is 123-456-7890

Me: Alright let me just pull up your account... hmm it's not showing up is that the correct number?

C: Yes of course

Me: Can I see your phone? Maybe with the IMEI

C: Alright no problem

Me: scans phone pulls up account So I see the problem it appears your account was cancelled for some reason? That might be why your service was interrupted

C: Oh I know that, I switch over to another company, I was just wondering why my service isnt active yet

Me: ...uh well you dont have an account with us so I believe you would have to check with the company you switched to

C: Well you guys are the ones who cut my service in the first place!

Me: You cut your own service when you switched companies, your account is now with your new company, theres nothing left for me to do here

C: Oh ok, well I just want a refund on the money I had left in my account.

Me: ...? What? You dont have an account with us anymore, theres nothing to refund

C: Well of course there is! I only used 2 weeks of service, so whatever is left in my account I want refunded.

Me: Sir... theres nothing left in your account. Since this is a prepaid company you always pay before you use the service, and the total amount you paid is used immediately to provide service for that month.

C: Well since I only used 2 weeks of service I should still have some sort of credit left in my account, and that's just all I want, MY money that I paid into this account, and I want it back.

Me: Sir that's not how the accounts work, once the money is in there it's used up, even the regular refunds must be within 48 hours, but even then you dont have an account with us anymore so theres nothing I can do.

C: Well who CAN do something about it??

Me: Well like I said since you dont have an account with us theres nothing left to refund. Once YOU chose to switch to a competitor, your account is cancelled as your number is with another carrier.

C: I understand that I just want a refund on what's left in my account!

Me: Sir you dont have an account with us anymore, theres literally nothing I can do.

C: Would the corporate store be able to help? Give me their number!

Me: They're just going to tell you the same thing I did...

C: Well we'll see about that!

And he left in a huff, even after the whole back and forth. I dont understand how he thinks he can get a refund but I just feel sorry for the poor folks at the store that are going to have to explain the same thing I just did to him.

--u/Morktorknak

From  u/ironsprite Tales From Retail:

I'm a manager at a clothing store. Our return policy states that items must be unworn/unwashed. Of course people still try to return their worn nasties anyway, and it can be hard to deny them without calling them a liar.

Enter Old Man (OM) and Old Lady (OL). OL is carrying a pair of jeans and places them on the counter.

OL: I'd like to return these, they didn't fit.

Me: Sure! Do you have a receipt?

OL: No.

Me: Tags?

OL: No.

I begin inspecting said jeans and they are most definitely worn and washed. Several times. They are very much worn in and don't have that crispness that a new pair on the shelf would have.

Me: Have these been worn.

OM: No, she just wants a refund.

I continue inspecting the jeans, debating what to do here. They have no receipt, no tags, and I had to check the label inside to make sure it was even our brand. I'm at the crossroads where I can either call the customer a liar and refuse the return, or just give them a credit and throw the jeans in the damages. The couple is staring at me, as if I wasn't moving fast enough to throw open the register and hand over the cash in exchange for the grossness in my hands.

As I continue my internal dilemma, I reach into the pockets, hoping to pull out a tag or receipt. Instead, my poor unsuspecting hand emerges holding a wad of used tissues. I must've been unable to hide the horror on my face as OM snatches the tissues from my hand.

Me: Yeah... I'm not going to be able to take these back.

OL: Oh... I... um... I really didn't think I wore them.

I push the damaged denim back across the counter. OM quietly admits defeat by folding them under his arm, and the old couple turns and walks away.

Once they're out of sight I sputter out a series of "ewww"s and practically take a bath in Purell.

--u/ironsprite