Malicious Compliance: I Called The Police On You, Like You Wanted


3MALFrom RRuruurrrMaliciousCompliance

I am a museum security officer. The museum is owned by a university that has its own police service. Museum security is a subset of campus police. On paper I work for campus PD also, but I'm not a full fledged LEO. To simplify the story I referred to police officers as "police" and security officers as "security" but we all work under one department.

Our museum is pretty cool and kids often get a little too excited. No big deal; they're kids. When that happens I'll find the parent(s) and ask for a little more supervision. Also not a big deal.

Yesterday I got a call from dispatch saying there were complaints of children running around on the first floor. I stopped the kids and asked where their guardian was. After a brief search their mom was found on the fourth floor and had seemingly forgotten she brought four little kids with her. I reminded her of her responsibility to keep an eye on her kids and she clearly didn't get the message.

"I understand that you're not doing your job!" she moans. I asked her to clarify and she stated that she shouldn't have to watch her kids because that's security's job. I politely explained that my job is to enforce the rules, not to babysit and she grew incapable of discussion. "YOU NEED TO JUST DO YOUR JOB AND WATCH MY KIDS!" She yelled as she turned to walk away.

She used that phrase one too many times. "Ma'am, please calm down. It's time for you to leave. Gather your children and I'll escort you to your car."

She did a double take so fast her face turned to look at me and her chin followed half a beat later. "YOU CAN'T KICK ME OUT. I'M CALLING THE POLICE!"

Internally I laughed. Externally I said, "Okay."

She ended up not having her phone with her so I asked if she wanted me to call the police on myself. She agreed.

Badge 666I called local PD and connected with the same dispatcher from earlier. I talk to this person every day. He immediately recognized what was happening. I said something like, "Hey, this is RR'uruurrr. I have a lady here who's been asked to leave and refuses to comply. She would like police intervention."

When the cop arrived he had been briefed and immediately took my side. Mommy couldn't believe it. The cop walked her to her car where he ID'd her for his records. She had outstanding warrants for unpaid parking tickets, (if you don't pay parking tickets, they become court dates. Court dates become arrest warrants when you fail to appear), and was arrested on the spot.

A second police officer came to take care of the kids. I imagine he took them into protective custody until he could contact the father or a grandparent or something. If that failed, I imagine Child Protective Services was notified.

By the time it had progressed to this point I had left to do other things. I like to stay out of the way when the police are working.



Crazy Custy Hell: Screaming Death Threats At The Life Guard


CRAZYCUSTYTALESFrom running_in_circles

I am a lifeguard at an inner-city public pool.

A few years ago, when I was a new guard, only 15 years old, I yelled at a patron for doing a backflip on the diving board. When he proceeded to do it about three more times, I kicked him off.

He then came over to me, climbed up my stand and said, "You dumb bitch! Who the fuck do you think you are, sitting up on that high chair of yours telling people what to do?! You just kicked me off cause I'm a N****. You gonna' get what's comin' to you! You better sleep with one eye open, little girl, cause I'mma find out where you live!"

He's up on my chair, leaning into my face, screaming this. People have literally stopped laughing and playing and splashing and are just kind of floating and staring at this nut bag.

I was terrified! I was about to plant my foot on his chest and physically kick him into open space, hard concrete below be damned. But right then, a huge hand reaches up, grabs him by the scruff  of his shirt and physically yanks him off my chair.

It's the cop who was stationed at our pool. He (also black) was built somewhere between a gorilla and a tank and this skinny asshole was a toothpick compared to him.

He speaks in a guttural growl that sounds like an irritated lion, "Son, I think you want to calm down, apologise to the lady, and come with me for a little talk."

Badge 666I don't know whether the entitled asshole stupidly thought that the other black dude was gonna take his side, or what, but he doesn't do any of the three things requested of him. Instead goes into a raging tirade right there at the foot of my chair, calling me all sorts of slurs for white people and raving about how I'm a bitch (for doing my job) and that he's going to make me sorry.

I'm practically curled into a ball in my small seat, doing the "my feet are out of reach" thing that most people do during scary movies. The monster isn't going to reach out from under the sofa and grab MY ankles! No sir!

Now the cop had clearly heard the first set of threats to my life, so having this idiot threaten my life again, to the cop's face, was just the cherry on top. His face goes all stony and he lets the guy continue to yell to the wall of silence. Eventually he starts to wind down because he's not getting validation of any sort and it's slowly dawning on him that the cop doesn't look particularly friendly right now.

Silence falls, and the cop says politely, "Thank you for telling my cop cam all of that. Put your hands behind your back, sir."

He was taken away in cuffs, looking completely stunned. I wasn't needed for any of the proceedings, but I still didn't sleep well for the rest of that summer.



Mistaken Identity: My Little Moment In Hell


Mistaken Identity 2 carolFrom slider65, IDontWorkHereLady

This happened to me a while ago, and I thought you folks would get a kick out of it.

I had reported to work on this particular Monday where I am the Site Supervisor for an armed security account, only to discover that the blasted idjits that work the night shift had not only left me an empty coffee pot (a mortal sin) but had entirely cleaned me out of coffee, leaving me naught but an empty container devoid of my much needed morning caffeine, the inconsiderate so-and-so’s.

Grumbling, I go off to the local market to buy some caffeinated goodness so to keep my heart beating through my busy day. Mind you, I am in uniform, which means black pants, dress shirt with my badge and various security emblems, my duty belt with firearm, baton, handcuffs, etc. etc. For the sake of those squeamish folk out there that go all white in the face when they see a firearm, I have also donned a windbreaker with SECURITY written across the back in 6” high Day-Glo yellow letters. In other words, I looked NOTHING like any of the folk who worked at this market, whose uniform consisted entirely of a green apron.

Now mind you, I probably could have handled this better, but I was grumpy. It was a Monday morning without coffee after all.

So, I am standing just inside the door of the market reading the chalkboard where they have written their menu for the small café they run when this Entitled Wench (hereafter referred to as EW) on her cell phone, walks up to me, and tries to hand me a slip of paper… Ok, I’m a bit confused, but I take it and give it a look. But as soon as I do EW makes a little shooing motion and walks away and sits down at a bench by the door. Never says a word to me, doesn’t even really look at me, barely acknowledges my existence and just walks off. So I’m kinda annoyed you might say. Look at this piece of paper and it’s a list of, you guessed it, groceries. Uhmm… WTF? So I wander over and politely enquire as to what exactly this is and why she had seen fit to hand it to me?

Entitled custiesEM: "My grocery list of course, fetch them for me, I’m in a hurry and can’t be bothered. I’m on a Very Important phone call."

And again with the shooing motion.

Now, I’ve been going to this market for nigh unto 5 years, and I can assure you, they don’t “fetch” your groceries for you.

So, after some consideration, I very carefully rolled her list into a tight little ball, dropped it on her lap, and loudly growled at her to get off her lazy ass and do her own damn shopping, turn around and walk off. I hear her screeching out something behind me but I just ignore her and keep walking.

Now at this point I am seriously thinking that EW will take the hint, see the Day-Glo letters on my jacket and buy a clue. But oh no, EW is just not that smart, she instead chases me down and starts yelling about how she’s going to get me fired and I need to fetch her damn groceries right now!!

Trying to remain calm, I politely (honest) but forcefully tell her again, very clearly, "I don’t work here, do your own damn shopping lady," and leave.

Thinking that’s the end of it, off I go to get a cup of wonderful hot coffee at the café and then move on to the aisle of heaven, where I am busily perusing their fine selection of lovely roasted goodness, when who should appear but EW with a gentleman in tow. She’s loudly berating him about his lazy workers, and demanding I be fired on the spot.

The poor gentleman looks confusedly at me, then at her and informs her “He doesn’t work here, we don’t employ security ma’am.”

Being a bit of a jerk, I wave at her, give her a big smile, and agree with him.

EW absolutely loses it, goes completely insane. Starts screaming that I need to fetch her damn groceries right now or she is going to get us all fired, and she is an important person, and how we will regret treating her this way, blah, blah, blah. The gentleman finally gets a word in edgewise and again informs her I don’t work there, and I don’t have to do anything for her.

That is when I can see a dim little bulb go off in her head, and can see a glimmer, tiny but there, of understanding begin to dawn in her eyes. This dim light is however quickly squashed by her over-inflated sense of entitlement as she promptly replies in the snottiest voice possible, I kid you not, with;

Balls bombEW: "Well, he’s obviously a menial of some sort; make him."

To say this got me a tad riled up is perhaps an understatement. So I shoved a one-finger salute into her face and told her emphatically to go screw herself. The gentleman quickly got between us and loudly told her, in no uncertain terms that One; Again I did not work there, and Two; that she needed to get the hell out of his store. Right now.

EW literally screamed at the top of her lungs, no words, just rage, and started demanded to see someone in charge so she could get us all fired and someone better get her her damn groceries, and how she was going to sue us all, damn it didn’t we know how important she was?

The gentleman, who I had naturally assumed was the manager, promptly got right back in her face and yelled over her that he was the owner, his family had owned the place for 20 years, and they had never in all that time done someone’s shopping for them, ever. He then grabbed her by the arm and literally dragged her off towards the front of the store.

At that point I was just shaking my head in disbelief, but I just went ahead, made my selection of fine coffees, and wandered over to stand in line to pay for it. As I’m there at the register the owner came up to me and actually apologized for EW’s behavior, and we shared a WTF moment. Actually ended up just laughing at how stupid EW was. Or crazy, either way. He even tried to let me have the coffee for free, but I thanked him and told him it wasn’t his fault that EW was a nut, and I was fine with paying for it.

Badge 666Now, you would think that that was the end of it, I mean, it was crazy, but weird stuff happens, people are idiots, whatever. But oh no, dear readers, it would appear that we had both underestimated the depths of EW’s craziness, because as we walked through the door to the outside world, who to our astonishment was there waiting for us?

EW. It turns out had actually called the police on us and the dumb bitch was out there screaming at the officer demanding that we be arrested for not serving her, and how she wanted us both fired, and she was going to sue, and that someone had better get her her damn groceries right now damn it!!!

My jaw dropped, I don’t mind saying it, and I was beyond shocked. I honestly started laughing at that point. This lady was certifiably nuts.

Because of my job we happen to work closely with the local PD, so I actually recognized the Officer that had responded to the call and gave Officer Betsy a wave when she looked at me. She gave me a grin and walked over asking me about exactly what the hell was going on. We both gave our side of the story and the owner asked that she be removed from the property, please, as she was at this point causing a scene.

Betsy just rolled her eyes, walked over and told EW that she needed to leave right now, immediately, or she would be charged with trespassing.

Now, you ever have that moment when you can see something bad start to happen, but your mind just can’t quite believe it’s actually occurring? Well, I saw it start, clear as day, as EW reared back and started to go off again and yup, there it was, she actually jammed her finger into Officer Betsy’s sternum, not once, but twice. Might have been a third time, but Officer Betsy had at that point picked her up, flipped her over, and dropped EW on her head. Landed on top of her, had her handcuffed in record time, got back up, opened her door, slid EW into the back of her patrol car and slammed the door on her.

And we all just stood there shaking our heads in total disbelief as EW started to scream and thrash about and kick at the windows of the squad car. She was still doing it as Officer Betsy drove off to the station too.

Saw Officer Betsy later on that day, and she told me that EW was still throwing a fit when they got to the station, and fought the officers there like hell, until they ended up stuffing her into a control chair. She was later transported to the hospital for a psych eval.

For those curious, here's the aftermath...

-- slider65


Mistaken Identity: This Is Why People Need To Be Punched Out


Mistaken Identity 2 CarolFrom Tinyriiiiicckkk, IDontWorkHereLady

This was years ago.

I work in a fancy deli and out uniform consists of a bright pink apron. It's neon, burn your eyes out pink. It had a long pink ribbon that crisscrosses your back and finishes in a fancy bow. Very ugly.

I work in a kind of mall, quite small with a handful of shops, clothing, butchers, a supermarket and a few cafes.

The bloody pink monstrosity is a pain in the arse and a half to put on and remove, so we tend to keep on wearing it whenever we step out of the shop; for lunch, shopping.... Blah blah blah.

I needed some prescriptions filled and as it was super quiet, my boss was happy to let me go to the pharmacy a couple of shops down, while still wearing my neon apron.

The pharmacy folk wear green shirts and black pants, and a lanyard around their necks. There is absolutely no way to mistake me for one of the workers.

I was waiting for my prescription to be filled, when a man's voice piped up from behind me:


I thought it odd but didn't turn around. Surely he wasn't talking to me, right?

"Hairdyes!!!" I hear again.

Badge 666I ignore it.

"HAIRDYES!!!!!!!!" This scream is accompanied by a slap to the middle of my back.

I turn around and realise that a middle aged, stocky and balding bastard is standing just inches behind me.

He seemed angry, nostrils flaring. It's not easy to rile me up by woe to you if you do. My friends call me snorlax (the sleepy pokemon) because I'm a sleeping nightmare.

I'm pissed about the slap but whatever, I've had worse.

"I don't work here" i say, pointing to the massive logo on my chest that was eye height to him (I'm very tall and he's very small.

"Yes you do! Don't lie!" (Why do these people think we'd lie about this shit??)

"Nope, I work at the deli further down."

I turn around, thinking that that was that.

"YOU DO!!"

This screech is followed by a slap to my shoulder blades. The nightmarish me is rising to the surface.

"Slap me again and I'll call security." I turn and glare at the dickhead.

By now the pharmacy staff have come to see what was going on. The bastards didn't do shit to stop the man though.

Once again, i turn around.

Then, a massive pulling motion on the ribbon of my apron pretty much pulls me backwards and down. The ribbon pulls on the fabric of the apron which pulls up around my throat, choking me. The strength of the pulling pretty much forces me into a limbo position, tightening the apron till I couldn't breathe. He was so small that pulling on the ribbon forced me down.

He may have been tiny but goddamn! He was strong.

I'm grabbing at the fabric around my throat to loosen it and breathe, but he's holding on tight.

Carolanne choke a bitchHis grip loosens and I'm able to recover and breathe. The pharmacy guys finally got their arses into motion and called security. Our security guy is huge and had picked up the prick and is holding him back. A kind lady from the staff takes me to a chair so i can catch my breathe.

Mcdick is struggling and screaming, trying to break the hold that my bulky saviour has him in.

Police is called and are pulling him away, while he screams about police brutality. Statements are taken and cups of tea are brewed for me (Australia's british roots are still evident).

I don't know what happened to the douchecanoe but i know he got a perma ban from the mall. I was never called up for a trial or anything so i have no idea where he is and what the police did to him.

It took a while to stop being nervous about wearing the apron but people in the mall were very kind. 95% of the people hear are regular sane humans.

I didn't punch him out because I was a 16 year old high school student and back then I wasn't as confident. Now though? In a heartbeat.

Not my first experience but definitely the worst.



Toxic Manager Hell: "Yeah But My Grabbing You By The Throat Is No Reason To Quit Working With Me"


Manager talesFrom Threshboy

Okey, I had this job for about four years.

It was a normal pizza job; normal if you consider the manager acting more like an friend then an boss. I ended up doing more manager duties than the actual manager: helping with the other workers, making sure they are working, firing them if needed, training new people, making the work schedule for everyone, making the google ads work, ordering stuff, sending mails to different people... all that "shit I do a lot of stuff I'm not getting paid for."

Well, anyway, in Sweden, you have this thing call "vacation-salary," you have 25 days a year that are suposed to be "vacation-days." If you don't get these 25 days off, which are paid, you get an "vacation-salary" for about 12-13% of your salary each month.

I had no idea about this until about two months ago. But when I found out about it, I talked with him, and here is when the shit hit the fan.

The first time we talked, I had read up on this on the internet, learning my rights and what's mine by law. I said that I should get 12% of my wage as "vacation-wage."

He said that I had no right to that.

I proved him wrong by showing him the law on the internet. He claimed that I already was getting my "vacation-wage" in my normal hourly pay.

I showed him how this was not possible, because you really have to identify the normal hourly pay and the "vacation-wage" money.

Then he claimed that if I want my 12%, I will get an paycut making my salary the same as it was before I wanted my "vacation-wage."

When I showed him how this was against the law, stuff turned negative.

We chose to see each other the next week instead, and here I found out that I had rights like having my "vacation-wage" paid out to me up to two years after the pay is supposed to happen, so I had the rights to get 12% of everything I've worked in the last two years, and get that number again.

Well, he also found out about this, so he started to call my father (I'm 22...) threatening him about how he would call the police on him/us for me working for him without paying taxes (he had no proof for this, so I thought it was funny).

Crazy lady palsWell, anyway, I didn't think much about all that had happened. I arrived at my job, walked into my boss's room, sat down to talk to him, and he was off the bat crazy-angry!

He started to threaten me about calling the cops on me for working under the table, and he just got more and more mad when I said that he had no proof for that.

Then he started to insult me, saying stuff that I am too stupid to have a normal job and just getting even more mad.

Then he started to insult my family, saying how he really sees that I'm related to my sister, who ends up in the psychward from time to time.

I finally told him that I could give him a ride there next time, as he was acting like he needed it.

He started to put his face right into mine, angry as hell, telling me to get out and if I wanted my pay, I would get the cops called on me.

I told him that we can certainly play this game if he wants to but that I was clearly a lot better at this game than he was.

He snapped and put his hands around my throat. I simply stood up and put my hand on HIS throat, pushing him backwards until he hit the wall behind him. Here, we just stood, him trying to hurt me, me being A LOT stronger, about 40 KG heavier and about 15 CM taller, was surprisingly calm. I just stood there thinking, "Should I hit him? No... Not unless he hits me."


Badge 666

So here we are, his hands at my throat, and me calmly holding him by HIS throat and very much unconcerned by his weak ass grip. After about 5-10 seconds, another worker comes in and tries to drag my boss out of the room, telling us to "stop fighting."

The boss refused to let go, so I told him to let go, or I would beat his ass into the ground, which finally made him let me go.

I called the cops, went outside, lit a smoke and just waited for the police to arrive.

They arrived, they questioned me, then my boss, and then the worker. They advised us both not to press charges, since it was word against word and there was no physical evidence (neither of our throats were bruised, amazingly).

The police left. He was mad as hell that I had called the police on him for putting his hands on me. I just stared him down until he wrote me my check for payment owed.

The weird part is that he asked if I wanted to keep working there... And that I should come in after HIS upcoming vacation to talk with him.

I've seen him throw pizzas at people, and fire other just because they answered "ok" and not something more 'professional.' He was nuts, and after all this, he still expressed confusion as to why I was making him write out my final check and why I didn't want to work with him anymore.



The Dumbest Question: Closed Road


I'm a cop. There was a bad collision down a narrow street in my city, so we had to close off the road to complete the investigation.

I was positioned was at a four way intersection about 60 feet from the actual collision. I park my car with all of lights flashing directly in the middle of the roadway, and its pouring fucking rain so the reds and blues are reflecting off everything.

Over the course of the 45 minutes that i was blocking the road off I had about 15 cars drive directly up to me and ask "is this road closed?"

Motherfucker, no, go ahead, I'm standin' here like a jackass soaking in the rain with my blinky flashlight on waving it in random directions because I like sweet rave parties.