Monstrous Customers: "Is she stupid?"




From RHUer, February, 2010:

Hey, so I work at a really well known craft store as a supervisor, and I've honestly never had a terrible customer until today.

So, I was ringing people up on the only open register, and I'm trying to go as fast as I can so no one gets upset.

A woman (who, by the way, already seems disgruntled) comes up with fake flowers as well as one glass vase and one metal vase.

Now, our scanners can be super-sensitive and scan things twice sometimes without even realizing it. This happened to this woman's large metal vase, but wasn't noticed until after she already paid.

So, I apologized and said I'd take the extra charge off and it would go back onto her credit card. Most people have no problem with this.

But no, this woman was obviously upset, but let me do the transaction anyway. About half way through the transaction, she moves her arm, and the METAL vase falls to the floor.

It makes a lot of noise, but other than that is fine, and I even offer to go get a new one in case there is any damage done.

This makes the woman incredibly angry (but still calm). She then turns to her husband and says, "First you charge me twice and then you drop it on the ground. Is she stupid?"


The scanner is overly sensitive and you can't move your stuff so I can put the vase somewhere AWAY from the scanner, knock your OWN vase over, and then ask if I'M the stupid one???

After I, along with the other 4 customers in line, hear this, and I immediately stop my bullshit sunshine-happy attitude, and finish the transaction as emotionless as possible.

After I fix the problem, I again apologize for dropping the vase and it scanning twice on accident, and she asks for my name so she can go complain about me.

The next customers were incredibly nice about it and even told me that the woman must have been stupid because I was doing such a great job, and even told one of my managers so when I explained what had happened.


read more Monstrous Customer Tales here

and Craft Store Hell stories here








Electronics Store Hell: Best Bastard's Douchebag Customer of the Week


Besdouche2 From Best Bastard:

Been in retail/customer service since I was 13. Everything from paintball field management/customer service, retail sporting equipment store manager, IT support and now.... Best Buy.


I've got stories out the ass but I'll start with a quick one that took place today. The Computer section of BBY was PACKED. We had, what, 4 employees on the floor (2 of which actually DO their job) and over a few dozen customers.

My manager was helping a couple when ENTER ENTITLED, ARROGANT, DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK (and quiet, mousy, somewhat unresponsive wife).

I had just finished helping a nice older lady find a netbook for her grandson, when a manager walked over and asked me if I was free. I said yes (MISTAKE). She points him out and says, simply "He needs help."

Oh, how right she was. I saunter over and...

Me- Good morning sir, anything I can help you out with?

DBAG- (steps over to crappy gigantic 18in Toshiba) Get me this one.
Me- Alright sir, did you want anything with your laptop today? Microsoft Office, Optimization and Antivirus are all very common addon purchases with laptops.


Jason 029zMe- Ok then, I'll just grab the keys from my manager and we will pull out your laptop.

DBAG- (sigh) Fine.

I hurry to find the manager because I know how precious his time is and I just want to throw him to the front registers and have them ring him out so I don't have to deal with him anymore. I actually get the keys really quickly (in under a minute), unlock the case, pull out the laptop, return the keys (as per SOP) and return to the customer.

Me- Alright sir, I've got your Toshiba right here. Did you want to grab anything else such as an external mouse, keyboard or carrying case?


See this is where I made my mistake. Instead of just taking him to the front registers for him to check out, I decided to be nice and ring him out in the back to avoid the huge line in the front of the store.

Me- Well, it looks like the line is really long out front, I'll ring you out back here so you can avoid it.

DBAG- ...

I ring up the items as fast as possible and, as per BBY SOP, offer our extended warranties.

Me- Have you heard of our protection plans for laptops?

DBAG- Stop offering me things.

Me- Ok, then.

Oh God, please let's just finish this.

Me- Your total comes to $xxx.xx, is that card debit or credit?

DBAG- Credit.
(swipe, ID check then that EXCRUCIATINGLY LONG wait before it pops up....... APPROVED! YES! OH GOD YES THANK YOU!)

Then, it happens. Receipt. Paper. Jams.



Me- I do apologize, sir. Our machine seems to have jammed, I'll just print your receipt from another machine, I'll be right back. Once again, I do apologize.

I run, not walk. I RUN to the next register, type in the halfway printed receipt code, print the receipt and return in less than a minute. I DARE anybody to beat that time.

Me- Here you ar--

DBAG- You forgot to ask for my Reward Zone card.

Me- Oh, I'm sorry but that's no problem. Just go to an--

DBAG- You know what?! FORGET IT. JUST FORGET IT.  (Gathers crap and leaves)

Phew! He's gone. But wait! There's more! THERE'S ALWAYS MORE.

Apparently, he went up to our security desk complaining about us. So, LP called our manager up and the conversation went something like this...

DBAG- Every single one of those people working in computers is completely incompetent. They're all idiots! Especially that one red-haired guy (guess who that was...), he had to ring me up three times before he got it right! I can't believe this! This is unacceptable!

Awesome Manager- Sir, I do NOT appreciate the way you are speaking about my employees. You will show them respect, they do a wonderful job.

DBAG- (grumble grumble grumble) I'm never coming here again!

He then tries to "storm out" while the spider-wrap security device is still attached to his laptop... He sets off the alarm which alerts LP and he gets to spend the next few minutes waiting for them to deactivate everything while everyone in the store watches =D

--Best Bastard







Awesome Customers: Ritch Bitch vs Retail Hulk




From DFowler , February, 2010:

I haven't worked retail in a long time, but the nightmares of those years help me appreciate those who do work the front lines, especially during Christmas. 

After watching "The Wizard of Oz" a few nights ago, my wife decided we needed to go to the mall for a little late night Christmas shopping.  So, in no time I find myself a long line to pay for some stuff at a mall specialty store and I am enjoying watching the Christmas crowds and shoppers. 

In front of me is some woman loaded up with gifts and she's berating the girl behind the counter to be careful with every item as they are rung up. I swear if she said "Be careful with thaaaat!" one more time I was going to kick her in the ass so hard she'd taste my shoe! This fat bitch is wearing more jewels than Elton John in Concert and a full length fur coat (to go shopping in the mall!?) She's carrying one of those purses with the logo patterned all over it.  She's a walking billboard for "I got money and you don't!"

It came time to pay and she pulls out a credit card. No problem but the card is declined. She insists that the girl somehow did it wrong and tells her (doesn't ASK her, she TELLS her) "Do it again, only this time try a bit harder." 

The girl dutifully does it again and it is declined again.Freddy2 112a  

The woman reaches into her wallet and produces another card. Guess what? Declined! AND again, she tells the girl to run it again explaining (like to a 4 yr old) how to hold the card so that the magnetic stripe is facing right. (I have to give it to the girl behind the counter, she kept her cool and followed the bitch's stupid instructions if for no other reason than to prove to the Rich Bitch that the card wasn't working)  Each time the retail girl works the machine, the Rich Bitch turns to those of us waiting and gives us the 'eye roll' like we all know the girl is doing it wrong and aren't retail slaves just the worst, blah blah blah.

3 cards and 6 charge attempts later, she pulls out the 4th card and says to the girl behind the counter "And get it right this time, Missy, these people are getting tired of your fucking mistakes."

The venom with which she says this causes a woman behind me in the line to actually gasp and my blood begins to boil. Actually it had started boiling some time before, only just then it boiled over.   

I snapped.  I stepped forward and my wife grabbed my arm as if to say oh noooo please nooooo but it was too late.  (I've done this before, and my wife refers to it as becoming the Retail Hulk! (..."don't make me wouldn't like me when I'm angry...")

"No," I start, "what we're really tired of is people like you who can't seem to get their credit in line and take it out on other innocent people."  My wife has stepped back to give me room.

The Rich Bitch swiveled her piggy eyes toward me and looked like she was about to give me a clever wise-assed come back, so I took a deep breath and let her have it between the eyes. 

Retail Hulk had arrived...  "And another thing, these people aren't slaves and even though they may be paid what we laughingly call 'slave wages, they don't deserve to be treated that way - by your or anyone else! They work in one of the most thankless jobs there is: retail.  In no other employ will you have to be doing one job in the morning, and another job before lunch and yet a third job later in the day!" (I have a much unused degree in voice and I'm giving this speech in loud tones for no other reason than to get people to stop and listen.  Even the people in the mall are stopping and staring.)

Jason 020zz  

"They unload the trucks, unpack it, price it, haul it out to the sales floor and arrange it neatly it on the shelves, where, 20 minutes later they have to rearrange it after some high and mighty yet totally messy shopper like you has destroyed their careful work. But then they also have to sweep the floors, clean the glass windows and even unplug the fucking toilets because basically working retail really is one step above being a slave!" 

I was on a roll, and even the manager had come over to see what was going on.

"Then they have to work the cash registers where they have to deal with entitled rich bitches like you who treat them like shit and can't seem to find one fucking credit card that will work and YOU end up hold up a long line of other customers, all the while  insisting that it's HER fault (pointing to retail slave with eyes as big as saucers) that YOUR overcharged cards won't allow you to charge more on them!  And when you can't get them to work, your blame HER! Then when you have to leave without paying,  who's job will it be to return those items all to their proper place again? Any idea? I'll tell you: HER, but only after she takes care of all these other patient people and locks the doors at night. Then once the items are back where they belong,  she will again vacuum and sweep the floor, clean the counters, re-arrange the shelves and count out their drawer for the night all while you are cozy at home bitching about how she didn't do HER JOB right? (Sarcasm drips from the end of that statement.)  So, if I were you, I'd get down off my high fucking horse and apologize to the entire line for delaying our shopping, apologize to this young lady for basically being such a raging ASSHOLE WITCH and insulting her and then get the fuck out before someone drops a house on you!"  (Wizard of Oz 'witch' reference does not go unnoticed by someone in line, who snickers accordingly ...probably my wife.)

Rich Bitch's eyes are wide open and unblinking. 

I think maybe she has died standing up. The only noise is the faint hiss of the mall fountain and that blasted Christmas music. 

Everyone seems to be holding their collective breath.

There is a pause of about 3 seconds before she utters a nearly inaudible 'sorry' and then turns to the girl behind the counter. "sorry..."  she says again. 

She pops open her wallet, fumbles around and produces two hundred-dollar bills (I wanna scream WHAT THE FUCK!?) and the girl quickly finishes the sale and bags her items. 

The woman takes her bags, one in each shaking hand, and again turns to the girl behind the counter.  "Sorry" she says. 

She stops when she sees the manager and even says "sorry" to her too.  I'm pretty sure she muttered a "sorry" to the people who parted ways in the mall for her to leave, too. 

When she's out the door, there is light applause, I make my  purchase with the greatest of customer service (even the manager helps) and they send me on my way with a cheery "Come see us again soon!" 

As we cross the mall, my wife says "You should really write that up for Retail Hell." 

So, here it is. 


 read more tales of Awesome Customers here




Retail Hell Memories: Server Hell - Twofer Of Rudeness And Pushyness


This story was originally posted on August 05, 2010


Science ninjaFrom The Science Ninja

Hey, I've been watching the site for a while, and after what happened today, I thought I would post. I guess I'll call myself The Science Ninja (throwing chemical formula's as shurikens!) due to my academic choices in life.

Some background first, I don't work a permanent job. Instead, I work many one off jobs, one which I do quite regularly is waitressing at wedding receptions. Usually, you'd think people would be in a happy mood at a wedding reception, but you'd be wrong.

The first thing that happened was, while I was giving out some nibbles, I walked over to a middle age, middle class couple in the middle of a conversation.

Huge mistake. I shall call the perpetrator SOF (Snobby Old Fart).

SOF: Teenagers are out of control these days. Now look at this girl, can't be older than 14 (I'm 17, by the way) and is already pregnant! Probably working to pay for her living costs.

Now, this has happened to me before, I am not by any means a small girl. However, this hurt me because I've lost quite a lot of weight, and decreased from being morbidly obese, to normal weight.

Me: I'm sorry, I'm not actually pregnant.

Jason cigarPreviously when I informed people of this, they would usually make swift apologies.

Not SOF.

SOF: Well that's another problem, obesity. This girl has probably dropped out of school (Notice he isn't addressing me, but his "friend"), with absolutely no qualifications whatsoever, and sits at home watching telly and eating crisps all day. This girl is the reason we are in a recession!

With this I walked off, and made sure I wasn't serving him for the rest of the night. I wish now I had confronted him, but at the time I was extremely upset by this, so just left to have a cry in the kitchen.


This next scenario was later on in the wedding during the toasts.

This isn't really retail hell, just insane stupidity. Due to health reasons, I don't drink Alcohol, however the brides mother was determined to change this.

BM: Oh, dear, you don't have any champagne, why ever not?


Carolanne bald

Me: Oh, I don't drink Alcohol.

BM: Nonsense, what kind would you like?

Me: None thank you, I can't drink Alcohol.

BM: I'll go and get you some now...

Me: Honestly, it's ok, I don't... Oh, you're just gonna go get me some anyway? Ok...

I ended up just pouring lemonade into a champagne glass and pretending someone else had got me some :-)

I know these aren't really parallels to what some of you full time, permanent retail slaves have to put up with on a day to day basis, but it really made me consider quitting work altogether, and leaving the reception early.

It was sooo good to get it off of my chest!

--The Science Ninja


Read more Server / Waiter Hell stories here!


Retail Balls Awards: "Last warning, cut the trash talk..."



From Twink, November 2009:

There are times, when working at Walmart is awesome.  And tonight was one of those nights. 

I was working the Smoke Shop (the name given to the register with the tobacco products ), and around 15 minutes before my shift was to end, a couple of punks walked up to the register. Before the guy in front of them could even finish paying, one of them said "Pack of Newport 100's, and make it quick we're in a mother fuckin hurry got it?"

The following conversation took place:

ME:   "Got your ID?"
CUSTOMER #1:  "Yeah, I got my ID"
CUSTOMER #2:   "We both got our fuckin ID's so we're straight"
ME:  "Watch the language please"
CUSTOMER #2:  "Why?"
ME:  "Because it's rude and disrespectful, and I don't appreciate it"
CUSTOMER #2:  "Why you gotta be such a bitch about it? If we both got our fuckin ID's and the money to pay for our shit, the rest don't matter"
CUSTOMER #1:  "Yeah"
ME:  "Last warning, either cut the trash talk, or find somewhere else to buy your smokes"
CUSTOMER #2:  "This is fucked up bullshit"
**unknown to me, our back and forth has gotten the attention of a manager, who has walked over to the CSM podium so he can hear us, without letting on that he's now paying strict attention to what's going on**
ME:  *walks away from register*
CUSTOMER #1:  "Hey, the Newports are right there" *points*
ME: *walks back to register*  "I know perfectly well where the god damn Newports are.  I'm not about to stand here and let a couple of 19 year old cocksucking pricks act like assholes and expect me to wait on them and let them get the fuck away with it.  There's a gas station across the street,  next place is either Kangaroo or On the Run.  Pick one" *walks away again*
CUSTOMER #2:  "We wanna talk to your manager"
Carolanne2 064CUSTOMER #1: "Yeah, your manager"
MANAGER:  *walks up to the register*  "Something I can do for you gentlemen?"
CUSTOMER #1:  "We wanna make a complaint"
MANAGER:  "Why?"
CUSTOMER #2:  "She's being a bitch"
MANAGER:  "Are you aware I've heard the entire conversation"
CUSTOMER #2:  "Good, then you know what we're talking about"
CUSTOMER #1:  "Yeah dude, you see how she's been treating us"
MANAGER: "Let me get this straight.  You want to file a customer complaint because instead of my cashier overlooking your behavior and letting you get away with it,  she had the balls to call you out on it, and put you in your place?"
CUSTOMER #2:  "Yeah, I mean NO"
CUSTOMER #1:  "Dude, can we just get some smokes?"
MANAGER:  "Sure, at the gas station across the street, or anywhere else you want to go.  Just not here.  You gentlemen need to leave the store now, before I call the cops and have you escorted from the premises. "
*both customers beat a hasty retreat out the door*
ME:  "What if they call in a complaint on the 1-800 number?"
MANAGER:  "I don't think they're that smart.  But if they do I'll tell Steve that you were justifiably provoked, and it was a last resort.  What time are you outta here?"
ME:  "As soon as reset hits"
MANAGER:  "That's what, fifteen minutes from now? You can go ahead and go, no big deal"
ME:  "Awesome!"
MANAGER:  "Have a good night"

ME:  "You too!"







Retail Balls Award: It Goes Up The Chain Of Command, Before Rolling Downhill


TechTygerFrom TechTyger

I had a guy who was routinely abusive to people, thinking he was better than us so he didn't have to be at all polite and put one of the call entry girls in tears. So I had her transfer him to me.

I started typing everything he was saying as he was saying it and he went on for a minute or so before he caught on I was doing it. (I could type 120 wpm at the time, on an IBM Model M clicky keyboard... it'd once been described as 'two skeletons wearing tap shoes having a gunfight during a hailstorm on a tin roof over a rattlesnake farm').

I hadn't said a word other than 'can I have your case number'... He started yelling about how I couldn't do that and he'd have me fired and more abuse, and I took every bit of it down verbatim, with no censoring.

Once he'd finally figured out that I wasn't intimidated, he ran down.

TechTyger: "You done? Now, what's your actual problem?"

He finally told me, and it was something stupid that I could have fixed ten minutes ago if he'd just shut the fuck up and told me.

Balls award5I fixed it, and did the ending spiel, he hung up, and I sent email to my supervisor and my manager with the ticket number and the explanation. At the time, calls were only recorded randomly, due to the lack of sophistication and copper phone lines (Noe, anywhere you call that says 'call may be recorded', the call IS being recorded) but fortunately that was one of them.

So, it went up to my manager's manager, to HIS boss, to the director for the entire account, over to their management, then rolled downhill and landed on this guy.

The next time he called in he was very, very polite. I found out unofficially later that he was required to call his supervisor for permission before he called the helpdesk and had been told (After other complaints, not just mine; the others were brushed off as 'the customer is...', well, you know. I won't write something that offensive here) that if the got one more complaint that he would be out on his ass so fast his pants would catch on fire from the friction.

I knew he knew it was me, when he called, from my voice and my keyboard, so he was extra super polite. It was lovely. :D