Here's a Tile Store Hell memory worthy of a Retail Balls Award:
wezzer. Tales From Retail:
I'm a tile salesman, this occurred a little while ago.
In our back aisle we had a display of patterned tiles. There were six tiles making up the display. Each tile had a slightly different assortment of squares/triangles/circles on it. When you purchase this tile you will get a random assortment of patterned tiles in each box. This is relevant to the story, trust me!
Our tale begins on a sunny Saturday morning. A couple arrive to collect 30 or so boxes of these patterned tiles. I load them up without a hitch and the customers goes on their way.
About an hour after loading the order I get a phone call and it's the woman from earlier and she is not happy. She'll be Angry Lady (AL) and I'll be Me.
(AL) 'Hi, we collected tiles an hour ago and you gave us the wrong ones'
(Me) 'Hello there, can I start off by getting your order number to check what tiles you ordered?'
(AL) 'It's 1234'.
(Me) 'Okay, so you should have received 30 boxes of 'patterned tile' - I actually loaded the order myself and you've definitely received the tiles that are on your docket. Was there perhaps a mix-up when you ordered the tiles and the sales-rep confused the tile you'd chosen?'
(AL) 'No, it's these tiles but we wanted all of this particular pattern'
(Me) 'I see, well, unfortunately that tile is sold as it is on display - meaning you get a random assortment of patterned tiles in each box'
(AL) 'No that's wrong, when I bought them I was told I could get all the one tile'
(Me) 'Ma'am, the sales-rep you dealt with would never have told you that as he is fully aware of the way that particular tile is sold - I think there may have been some miscommunication between yourselves and the sales-rep you dealt with. If you'd like, you can bring the tiles back and we'll swap them for something else?'
(AL) 'NO! YOU WILL GIVE ME WHAT I ORDERED. I WANT IT ALL IN THE ONE TILE!'
(Me) 'I'm sorry but that's simply impossible - we'd have to open every box and pick out the particular tile you want from hundreds of boxes - and we'd then be unable to sell on the rest of the stock as all the boxes would be open'
(AL) 'THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM - YOU'RE GOING TO COME HERE AND GET THESE TILES THAT YOU F*CKED UP AND BRING ME THE ONES I ORDERED'.
At this point I'm getting pretty fed up at being yelled at so I inform the lady that I'll contact my manager and see what can be done. The Manager is off on Saturdays so it took me a little while to get a hold of him. While I was trying this woman's husband called and proceeded to abuse another sales-rep over the telephone. He told us that the display in question was in fact all one tile and that we must have changed the display after his wife called. We told him that this had certainly not happened and that the display had been the same for the past month at least.
I finally get through to my manager who tells me that I can exchange the tiles if the customer brings them back - but I can under no circumstances go through all the boxes to give these people the 300 tiles with one particular pattern that they want.
I call the lady back to inform her of this. And she tells me...
(AL) NO, NO, NO - I TOLD YOU THAT YOU ARE GOING TO COLLECT THESE TILES AND BRING ME THE ONES I ASKED FOR - NOW YOU CALL ME BACK IN 5 MINUTES AND TELL ME WHEN YOU'LL BE DELIVERING MY TILES (She slams the phone down).
At this point I feel that I've endured enough of this lady and I've informed her of what I can reasonably do for her - bearing in mind we didn't even have to offer an exchange for these tiles. I decide to carry on with my work day as normal.
10 minutes later I get a phone call. It's Angry Ladies husband. (ALH)
(ALH) 'You said you'd call us when our tiles were on their way?'
(Me) 'No Sir, I'm afraid I gave you the option of returning the tiles and exchanging them for something else - barring that there is nothing else I can offer you'
(ALH) 'YOU FCKED UP OUR ORDER AND YOU HAVE TO FIX IT - YOU ARE GOING TO COME AND GET THESE FCKING TILES AND BRING US THE ONES WE WANT - NOW!!!'
It is at this point I lost my temper.
(Me) 'I have told you what your options are - we are not at fault because you made an assumption during your purchase of tiles - Goodbye'.
I slammed the phone down and it felt incredibly good. Not 10 seconds later the phone rings again and the other sales-rep answers it and I can hear this man screaming over the phone. He passes the phone to me and I hear 'WHAT KIND OF MAN HANGS UP ON SOMEONE' - right as I hang up again.
We never heard back from them, strangely enough.