Return Hell Entitlement: Custy Expects To Be Compensated For Uber



Hello, It's janitorgirl,

After reading stories of managers caving to custys, I felt this was too funny not to send. 

I was taking out the trash in customer service when I saw a man (tall, 20's/30's) return a massive assembled desk. Which he said was missing a crucial screw. 

The coworker I will call M, processes the return- but then the custy asks for something odd. 

"I had to take uber to get there and this is the fault of bullseye AND the manufacturer- so what can you do for compensation?!"

WTF?- M called for the cashier manager (as opposed to store manager) and the cashier manager listened to the story. (He paid $28 for his uber ride.)

Cashier manager-"Do a gift card for $28."

Jaws hit floor. Now grant it, it's a gift card; a promise that he will have to shop at bullseye again, but that was an answer no one expected. 

Cashier manager is a sweet person and considering what I see when I yelp search my store- we need the good press- but that answer was so unexpected me and M were dumbfounded. 

I told this story to all my family members; ask for a manager at my store -and magic happens.

May all your custys be sane and all your managers be fairygodmothers.




Classic Call Center Hell: Tale Of Two Nightmare Retail Hells


This story was originally posted on: March 27, 2011


Call center 1Hey everyone! First time submitter here. You can call me FuckYouForCalling, as I've always wanted to answer the phone like that.

I've worked several jobs in Retail Hell, including movie theater cleaning, cashier, bagger, door to door sales, and now a call center. I have hundreds of crazy custy stories, but I'm going to start out by giving out 1st and 2nd place for the Who Fucking Raised You Awards. Because we all end up wondering way too often if our crustys were raised by wolves to think this shit is acceptable in civilized society.

Second Place is from when I was doing 3rd party door to door sales for a telecomm company. You can imagine how intense things can get when you are actually at the customer's house. Sigh.


So I go up to a door for a custy who already has our internet, so I have their name, and knock on the door. His wife answers, a Tiny Asian Lady (TAL), with a Pomeranian in her hand. I do my bullshit intro and ask her how the services are working.


ME (way too used to this): Wow okay what's wrong with the internet?


Me: Well maybe I can get someone out to check on it if you tell me what's wrong. And maybe I can save you money. What are you doing for TV and phone?

(Yes I will still try to sell. Straight commission pay is a life or death scenario)


ME (losing patience): I'm not trying to sell you anything *lies*. I'm trying to help you.


(She continues to abuse me verbally for a few minutes while I just stand there like O_o)


I shouldn't have said fuck, but I wasn't going to take her shit and my boss was awesome. I knew he'd have my back. Crusty didn't like that though.


ME: Fuck this noise.

So I walk all the way down her gigantic rich bitch front steps, out of her driveway, and am on the SIDEWALK, when I hear her throw her dog inside, slam the door, run down the steps, and next thing I know she KICKS ME IN THE ASS. LITERALLY. KICKS. ME. WTF?!

ME (astounded): Did you just..? Did you just fucking KICK ME?! WHAT THE FUCK?! THAT'S ASSAULT! I'M CALLING THE COPS!


Really? How is that okay?! Yes I came to your door, but you are ALREADY a customer and I hadn't even MENTIONED the word "sell" or anything like it. Plus its YOUR fucking house. If you don't want me to keep pushing you (and I will. I'm a good saleswoman) SHUT YOUR GODDAMN DOOR. Not that hard. Open, close. Open, close. Bitch.

I decide not to call the cops and just keep selling as she didn't hurt me (it was weak and hilarious. I was a bit shaken up though) and I hadn't been doing well in that area. So I kept going, only to be stopped by cops a half a block away. Turns out SHE called the cops on ME. So I got chewed out even though I'm the one who was assaulted. (Cops hated us.) Filled out a statement, but of course never heard back.


Creepy custyFirst Place is a lot shorter. It's from my current job in Call Center Hell for the competitor of my previous company. Not third party. Great pay. Not great enough for this though.


ME: Fuck you for calling Pest, my name is blahblahscript how can I help you?

REALLY ANGRY GUY: Hi. I just called to let you know that YOU. ARE A BITCH. YES. YOU ARE A FUCKING BITCH. You work for a FUCKED UP company. You're company is SHIT. You are SHIT for working for the company.

He goes on. We aren't allowed to hang up on crustys so I decide to try ask him what the problem was. Of course he doesn't. He pauses. Then shit gets bad.

RAD: Do you have a wet pussy? I bet you do. I bet you have a nice, warm cunt. I bet you like to get fucked hard in your nasty wet cunt by your company, you stupid cunt. How do you like getting fucked you-"

*CLICK* I hung up. FUCK that. If they find out and want to write me up, go for it. I WILL NOT take that.

SERIOUSLY?! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Commit yourself, asshole. That is not okay on sooo many levels. I still can't believe he thought that was an acceptable way to talk to a stranger. WHAT?!

Some people's kids.

It actually DID get brought up during my personal performance meeting. I had mentioned it in a group chat with some people I went through training with (which is when they reminded me I could get in trouble) and my manager heard about it.

Awesome managersShe said she looked through all of my calls from that day, but "couldn't find it," and then told me since I'm still fairly new, its okay and "just don't do it again because the policy is very strict and taken seriously."

I wouldnt repeat the convo to her for obvious reasons but assured her it was bad. She said she knows the policy is hard to follow and next time put them on hold and go get her and shell take the call.

My manager is pretty awesome, and thinking about it now there's no way the call could have disappeared or been missed. I'm now willing to bet she DID find it, agreed with me, then said she couldn't find it to cover my ass. Maybe even erased it. Aww.

I've read stories on here were other companies let you hang up if they swear or they have 3 chances, etc and I'm jealous. Haha. My company is pretty huge and I guess they think its better customer service or something. Its weird because they do take REALLY good care of their employees, I don't think they think this kind of verbal abuse happens.

It hasn't been a pproblem for me any other time though. I'm extremely good at de-escalating pissed of custys and most of them calm down pretty quickly once I assure them I want to be the last one they talk to about the problem. Honestly, if I hung up every time someone swore I would have missed out on a few sales. But some people take it too far. This guy was unbelievable.

Our company is "merging" with another company (more like the other company decided to omnomnom on ours) so maybe the policy will change. It'd be nice to just KNOW I could hang up if I wanted to.

Anyway, sorry that was kind of long. I'll be writing often. Until then, stick it to the man any way you can ;)


The Death Threat aka I'm Not Paid Enough For This


Story from Reddit:

Jason RawrFrom: RedBullRyan

This happened a couple of months ago now, but the effects are still on going.

I work in a betting shop in the UK and the presence of alcohol on the premises is forbidden by law, despite this, almost every single day someone will try and drink in the shop, most will just apologize and take it outside, and at worst get a little pissy, but not this customer.

I also want to stress that this was 9.30 in morning, as my shop opened up a semi-regular walks in through the door, he sat straight in the blind spot in the cameras and proceeded to start writing out a couple of bets. It didn't take long before I heard the sound of a can of some sorts being put on the counter in front of him and heard it open. Usually it'd be an energy drink/coke or something but this guy is a well known alcoholic who spends his day roaming the streets drinking cheap cider.

With a sigh I go over to him to give him the usual speech: "Alcohol is not allowed in here, please remove it from the premises."

Him: "Why?"

Me: "Because it is against the law to drink in a betting shop, we could both be fined, and I could lose my job."

Not sure what I said but it seemed to aggravate this scum bag who then started on me.

Freddy Choke JasonHim: "Who the fuck do you think you are? Some jumped up little prick who thinks he's all that because he manages a betting shop. You can't tell me what to fucking do."

Me: "Look mate, I'm not after any trouble, I'm just doing my job. You can go outside and down it for all I care, but you just can't have it in here."

Shit for brains then decided the best course of action would be to empty the can into the rubbish bin next to him, which I would obviously have to clean up if I didn't want the shop stinking for the next 12 hours I had to sit in it. I wasn't going to stand for it so I told him to leave, and that I wasn't going to put up with his attitude and clean up his cider. Apparently he didn't like this either.

Him: "You are a fucking cunt mate, you wait until your leaving tonight, I'll be fucking waiting and I'll smash your head on the fucking pavement."

Me: "Ok great, don't ever bother coming back then, your barred. I'm not paid to put up with abuse."

Him: "You just wait til 10 o'clock, I'll be there"

I just ignored it. Threats like this are quite common in my place of work, I usually just brush it off, as no-one ever really follows through.

I do the usual procedures, phone security, inform them what has happened, they give the usual unhelpful responses; "Be vigilant when closing," etc.

Lo and behold I get to 10 and no-one is there for me.

Carolanne baldFast forward a day and I'm working again, the shop is empty at around 7:30pm, so I sneak out for a well earned cigarette before everyone comes in to watch the football, this is when scumbag decides to walk down the street, drunk and shouting abuse.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you, you fucking wait," blah blah

So I go in the shop, and lock the door with the magnetic lock from behind the counter, and watched him spend the next two hours waiting outside, swearing at me through the door and trying to take it off it's hinges. I was getting quite scared at this point to rang the security team again who told me not to phone the police as this would be in violation of my contract with the company and my employment could be terminated. Luckily my cleaner turned up at 9:30 and he bolted.

My contract says I have to abide by all of my companies policies in the latest retail handbook which says inside that if I am in immediate danger to hit the silent alarm, which will alert someone at security who will ring the police after looking through the cameras.

There has been a lot on problem gambling in the house of commons lately, and my company, and others like it are worried that if every incident is reported to the police and they have realistic police statistics then we could face increased taxes/regulations/revoking of licenses.

Jason snootyI got a taxi home for the next week or two but eventually after not seeing him for ages I decided it would be safe to walk again. Well apparently not: he was sitting 5 minutes up the road and happened to see me as I was walking past from a distance (he was in a supermarket car park) and I saw him get up out of the corner of my eye before I pretty much bolted.

I got home safely but on the radio the next morning I heard police appealing for witnesses to a serious assault that happened where I was, at the same time last night, I assume he got a case of mistaken identity/was too drunk to see who I was but some poor bloke is in the hospital and it was meant to be me.

I still see him every now and then, he doesn't say anything to me but makes a point of staring me down/giving me the finger, maybe he knows I could dob him in if I wanted to, or maybe he's just biding his time.

All I know is I'm not paid enough for this fucking shit.



Dumbass Custys: An Idiot Trying To Park


From The Daily What:

Warning: This video might cause you to punch your computer screen.

Someone in Canada recently captured an epic parking fail on video with their dashcam, and it’s pretty hard to watch.

The video goes on for about 3 minutes while a woman in a small blue car goes absolutely nowhere fast.

And if that isn’t enough the drive you insane, the music does a pretty good job of that as well.

“Would have offered to park it for her, but I was too busy laughing,” writes the uploader in the comments.

While it’s certainly frustrating to watch, it’s nowhere near as bad as the guy who crashed into every car around him at a Piggly Wiggly earlier this year.