From megamanxtc, TalesFromTechSupport
Dispatched out to a customer's desk for a monitor swap. Our company gives a budget every year to employees to order new computer hardware. This particular individual decided to use his spending on an extra wide, 4k monitor. The monitor was already delivered to his desk, and I just had to go out to unplug his old one, plug in his new one, and make sure it works.
Just finished unplugging his old monitor, plugged in his new one, and powering it on.
User: Why are the icons so big?
Tech: We'll have to set the resolution to its native size. Then they'll be the correct size. Change to native resolution, some astronomically high numbers
User: Well now everything's too big, can you zoom it in more?
Tech: Yeah, sure. Change magnification to 125%
User: Still to small, can you make it bigger?
Tech: Yeah, no problem. Change to 150%
User: Well, that's too big, can you make it 132%?
Tech: Thinking that's an oddly specific number. Unfortunately, no we can set it to 125% or 150%, let's take a look at them and find out which works better for you.
User: Oh, OK.
Tech: change between 125% and 150% a few times, asking user which looks better, and he can't decide
User: What's your ching-chong name?
Tech: I'm sorry?
User: There's no way your first name is John. What's your real name?
Tech: No, that's my name.
User: Oh, so you were born here?
Tech: No, but I grew up here mostly.
User: There's no way your real name is John. C'mon, tell me, what's your ching-chong name?
Tech: No, that's my name.
User: Bull-shit. You don't look anything like a John. You've gotta have a ching-chong name. What's your last name?
User: So what, is that Japanese?
User: Are you married?
User: Is she Japanese too?
User: Hey, this monitor looks smaller than it did before.
Tech: You mean, the resolution of the screen?
User: No, I mean physically smaller. Did you do something to it? Does your wife have a ching-chong name?
Tech: No, it's the same monitor.
User: I know that, but it looks smaller. You must've changed something.
Tech: It's physically the same monitor, nothing's changed.
User: Let me find something to measure it with. What's your wife's name?*Has nothing to measure it with, but is convinced I somehow physically shrank his monitor.*And the color doesn't look good. Why is it so bright? Can we change that?
Tech: Adjust brightness. I'd rather not talk about my wife.
User: It's too yellow. I bet she has a ching-chong name.
Tech: Found that this monitor is set to default on "Warm," toggled through settings and user can't decide if he likes "Cool" or "User" better.
User: I don't know, what do you think? I think Cool looks better.
Tech: Yeah, sure. Change to cool
User: Second thought, I don't like that, can we change it back to user.
Tech: Change it and show it to the user so he can change it on his own
User: I don't like that. You expect me to do your job for you? Changing these settings are your job. Look, "John," I like you, but you need to get a better attitude about your work. I'll make sure to leave you a good survey score, but I'm going to comment about your attitude.
Tech: Was there anything else you need at this time?
User: Actually, I don't want this monitor here anymore. Can you swap this monitor with that one? (dual monitor set up).
Tech: Unplug everything, move it, plug it all back in
User: Second thought, now that I see it, I want it back where it was earlier.
Tech: You're sure?
User: Yes, swap them back.
Tech: Swaps them back
User: Rocking the monitor back and forward.I don't know, John. This monitor still looks smaller than before.
Tech: It's the same monitor.
User: i know that! You changed something.
Tech: Nothing was changed except the resolution settings which we went over together.
User: No, no. Something else changed. It's smaller than before.
Tech: It's the exact same size.
User: I'm going to find something to measure it with later. Anyway, you're free to go.