Dumbass Customers: Y'all got any percocet?



From anyname_Iwant, Tales From Retail:

Hello friends! Another tale from the pot shop! So some background if you didn't catch my last story, I worked in a dispensary in Colorado over my school breaks and I collected some pretty great stories to share. This is one of my favorites.

One of my duties as budtender is to answer any phone calls that come in. This day that I was working was not particularly busy so I was able to answer phone calls pretty quickly. I am more than happy to do this but I do have tinnitus from an ear drum rupture from when I was kid so hearing people over the phone can be quite tricky for me.

PM= Phone Man

Phone rings; Me: Thank you for calling {Dispensary Name}, how can I help you today?

PM: Hey, uh, yeah. I need, uh, your best drugs?

Me: Um, I'm sorry, we're you looking for our indica or sativa cannabis, sir?

PM: Uh, nah, like, do you have percocet?

At this point I thought my hearing was going out thinking he was asking for a certain strain.

Me: Um, I'm sorry sir, is that a specific strain?

PM: Strain? Uh, nah, man. Painkillers, I need percocet, y'all got any?

Me: No sir. We are a recreational cannabis store, is there anything I can help you with on those regards?


I'm just glad he called us first.








Dispensary Hell: Do You Think He's In a Hurry?



From  anyname_Iwant, Tales From Retail:

I worked at a dispensary in Colorado over my school breaks and boy do I have stories to share from the pot shop. We're a pretty busy shop seeing as we're right off a main highway tourists take to drive into Colorado. We usually have lines wrapping the store from open to close. This particular day was no different.

I was working the register and trying my best to go as fast as I could. It's hard to be really speedy when people have questions and just like to chat. They do understand though that we have to crank out the lines so the chit chat and questions are usually kept to a minimum on crazy days like this day.

I was finishing ringing up a couple when I noticed the man behind them was rolling his eyes and checking his watch and huffing loud enough for everyone to hear.

I gave the couple their goodies and they slipped a 5 dollar bill in my tip jar and whispered "good luck" while glancing back at the man behind them. I chuckled and thanked them and called the next man up to my register.

IM= impatient man

Me: Hello sir, what can I get for you today?

IM: I need bud, I'm in a hurry (he tapped his watch while talking)

Me: Okay, what kind of bud were you looking for? A sativa? Indica?

IM: I don't know! I just need bud! I'm in a hurry!

I'm a little frustrated at this point because our bud is all on display on the floor so customers can scope it out and decide which strain they want before coming up to the register. It's very clear this is how the store works as well, employees on the floor always greet people and tell them how the store works. It's also quite difficult to just choose bud, people have preferences usually and react to different strains differently. I could end up giving this man a strain he doesn't like and of course it would be my fault since I suggested it.

Me: Okay well I'd suggest this nice hybrid, Flo-G. It'll give you the head hi-

IM: FINE. That's fine, I'm in a HURRY.

Oh, I didn't realize. So I turn to the drawers where bud is kept behind me and I grab the Flo-G. I inspect it to make sure it's the right strain and what not (things can get mixed up on busy days)



I type in the strain name in the system and ring it up.

Me: That'll be 18 do-

He slams a 20 on the counter cutting me off, again. I take it and open my cash drawer, print the receipt, and hand him his 2 dollars change. The man then REACHES OVER THE COUNTER to grab his bud. I had to physically stop him from doing so.

Me: Sir, I'm sorry, I have to bag this product up, it's policy. Also please don't reach over the counter.


Me: I understand that sir, but I could get fired for not bagging your product with the receipt.

IM: You should be fired for the slow service! I AM IN A HURRY GOD DAMMIT.

I quickly bag everything up and even though I am seething, I tell him to have a nice day in my most polite voice. He just scoffs at me and turns to leave.

Me: I hope you get to where you need to be, sir.

He turns back around with pure red rage in his eyes and face. I reply with my best retail smile and wave him goodbye.

The next customer comes up to the register and slips a ten into the tip jar. He says, "geez, do you think he was in a hurry?"

Even though I was horribly upset, the next few customers made my day so much better by just joking about how awful that man was. I made 50 dollars in tips that day after that man left.

-- anyname_Iwant






Nasty Ass Thieves: Idiot Robber A/K/A what not to do in a robbery situation



From triphosphate77, Tales From Retail:

I work in a vapor store. I was closing solo on Sunday night, it was about 10 minutes till closing time and I was performing my closing duties when a man came in and stood by the counter, I asked him "Hi there, how can I help you?" and the man pretended he was interested in purchasing a vaporizer for a minute before he told me "I have a gun, give me everything in the register."

Adrenaline kicked in, and instead of simply surrendering the money I decided to call his bluff and I said "I don't believe you have a gun, and unless I see a gun I'm not opening this register" I assume the man didn't have a gun, because next thing I know he sucker punched me in the temple. It didn't hurt that much, and I was in shock. I hit the speaker button on the phone next to me and quickly dialed 911. At this point the man shoved everything off the POS station, including my personal cell phone, and ripped the land line out of the wall. Then he took a hard swing and planted a punch squarely on my nose, knocking me down to the ground and he started trying to pull my wallet out of my back pocket. (Spoiler alert: the wallet was empty) The man postured up while over me like he was going to start swinging again, so I told him "stop, fine, take the money!"

I reached over and opened the drawer (not the register, a regular counter drawer) and pulled the register key out and threw it at him, he opened the register, took approximately 300 in cash and bolted out the door.

If the man had been paying attention as I opened up the counter drawer, he would have noticed that the entire week's worth of deposits were sitting there in plain view, probably a couple thousand dollars of deposits. If he was paying more attention he might have also noticed that there were 5 cameras and that the entire store was glass and acrylic. Needless to say the police got crystal clear footage, and perfect prints from several locations. I picked him out of a lineup today. I may have a broken nose, but the man will probably be spending a few years in a cell now.

Either way, I don't think I'll ever be calling someones bluff about a gun ever again.