From  gagep932

From  BinaryAbuse 

From BasementRat:

A friend who is a docent for a large U.S. zoo often tells me about his fun encounters , both the animal and human kind. He is studying to be a large animal veterinarian. It is mostly outdoor work, which he enjoys and he has come to know the habits, likes and dislikes of the animals on exhibit.

Visitors to the zoo are many, especially on weekends. My friend enjoys speaking to tourists from all over the country and the world.

One day a group of about a dozen came up to the rhino enclosure. They were all wearing team sweatshirts from the University of Michigan. My friend was delighted to see them because he had gone to the school . He told them all about the rhinos and warned them to stay back from the fence because they have a habit of urinating in a wide arc. A hippo will fan his tail in a circular motion while in the water , a sort of cement mixing of their urine and excrement, while a rhino when urinating, will pretty much flood an entire area with pee.

The group seemed bored and expected the rhinos to do something other than stand there. They weren’t interested in hearing about the animals, they were more interested in taking selfies and making mischief. The group started yelling at the rhinos.

After five minutes they said that the exhibit was lousy ,a waste of time and money. My friend told them that they are not trained circus acts and not to taunt the animals.

My friend walked away in disgust and got about twenty feet away from the rude tourists when he heard screams.

He turned around in time to see the dozen sweatshirt wearing alums being hosed down with gallons of urine.

From head to toe, some with open mouths too stunned to move, the visitors were soaked in steaming piss.

Drenched and stinking, they cried for help, and demanded an answer why?...why did the rhino do THAT? My friend quipped…”Well, you were wearing Michigan team sweatshirts, that particular rhino came from an Ohio zoo, he is obviously a Buckeye fan.”

--BasementRat

From Tastefully Offensive:

The Oregon Zoo in Portland, Oregon shared this amusing video of Samundra, the asian elephant, hamming it up for the crowd while taking a swim in the zoo's enormous elephant pool. When she's finished showing off, Samundra gets rewarded with a watermelon, her favorite snack. 

see more videos on Tastefully Offensive

From Sandman2010

Hi RHU!

Long time lurker/commentor, first time poster.

This one is still makes my family and friends shake their heads in collective worry for the safety of this woman's children. A quick backstory, my friends and I have formed a costume charity group that helps out out groups like Make-A-Wish, March of Dimes, and smaller, local charities. We come in our various superhero costumes, entertain the children present, and get a lot of pictures taken of us. It gets us out on the weekends, and lets us give back to our community in our own little way.

For this event, we are at our local zoo. The March of Dimes branch for the city sets it up, and all of the pre-schools in the county come and see the animals, and surprise, superheroes! We spend a few hours just walking around the exhibits, talking to parents and children, and get a lot of pictures taken. My friends are dressed as Batman and Superman, and this trip I am wearing my Spider-Man costume. This becomes important in a minute.

At this point in the event we find ourselves in front of the reptile and spider exhibit. Unlike the rest of the animal enclosures this one is inside a building, kept dark so the lighted, simulated environments make it easy to see the various spiders, insects and reptiles in the exhibit. It also makes it a little creepy for the smaller children and some adults, so it has a lot of people just passing it by.

While we are posing for pictures with a group of very, very small children and answering their questions, I feel a tug on my shoulder. A thirty-something mother in holding onto her four-year-old son, and glancing back at the spider exhibit as she is speaking to me. She will be known as SL or Spider-Lady from here on.

SL: "Excuse me, Spider-Man? I have a question."

Me: "Yes, ma'am?"

SL: "My son wants to go into the spider enclosure."

Me: "Well, the doors right there. And then you just walk to the left. It's a great exhibit, I'm a big fan!"

SL: "Well, I'm scared of spiders. Is there anyway you could take him in there and show him all of the different spiders?"

I look down at the boy, who couldn't have been older than four. He's wearing Spider-Man EVERYTHING: Shoes, hat, shirt all decked out in our favorite Webhead. In my costume I was this kids idol. I honestly think he would have gone along with anything I'd ask him to.

Me: "Um... ma'am. Let me get this straight. You want me, a guy you don't know from Adam, to take your child into a dark enclosed room? You know I can get in and out of this suit in less than ten seconds, right?"

She was nodding along, right until that end part. The realization of what I just said finally sets in.

SL: "But you have to take him in there! I'm scared and you're a zoo employee!"

Me: "No ma'am, I'm not. We're volunteers. We don't work for the zoo. I don't think the zoo employees even know what we look like."

I've never seen someone go red-faced and move so fast. The poor kid was so confused, probably wondering what I had done to make his mom want to leave so fast.

--Sandman2010