Bigoted Scum Uses Gay Slurs Over A Refused Return
Now, I'm normally a cheerful person. I don't take things too seriously, and I tell jokes about everything -- man jokes, women jokes, Polish jokes, black jokes, white jokes, gay jokes, Challenger jokes [less than a month after its tragic end, I was telling them], etc. I don't tell them at work, but off the clock and to my friends I'll always try to lighten the mood. People know that I do this so that I don't get overwhelmed from the torrent of negative news [why aren't there any positive news stories anymore?]
Only one thing will make me turn angry: when scumbag custys act bigoted. I'm particularly sensitive to homophobia: when I was young and wild me and my [late] cousin, on nights we couldn't score with the pretty ladies when we went clubbing, would retreat to a gay bar in the heart of San Francisco's Castro that had really good beer and pretend to be a couple. The other, actually gay couples made us feel welcome. I still have friends from that time even though I no longer live in the Fog City.
So....
Bigoted Scum: "I'd like to return these. Here's the receipt."
Me: [looks at receipt] "This is 8 months past the time when we can take the return, sir." [points to date and copy of return policy on receipt]
Bigoted Scum: "I don't care about your stupid policy, you asshole. I want my return NOW."
Me: "No, sir. You had 90 days to decide that. It's way too late."
[I don't mind being called an asshole: I hear that word 20 times a day from frustrated crustys. It rolls off me like water off a duck.]
Bigoted Scum: "Look, you dick-eating faggot, you WILL give me my fucking return."
[Okay, THAT pushed my buttons. You just stepped over a line.]
Me [cold, cruel voice]: "Leave now before I have you thrown out."
Bigoted Scum: "MANAGER! NOW!"
[Jerk comes over, but I'm not worried. You see, Jerk's brother happens to be gay, and calling an employee of his a dick-eating faggot will push HIS buttons too.]
Jerk: "I am the manager: How can I help you?"
Bigoted Scum: "This dick-eating, ass-licking faggot won't process my return."
Jerk: "Consider yourself banned from the store. Leave now before I call the cops and have you arrested for trespassing."
Bigoted Scum: [stunned look]
Jerk [as he guides Bigoted Scum towards the exit]: "By the way, that employee is straight. And even if he was gay, you don't call him a faggot."
May all your customers be sane....
--The Last Archimedean
Posted by Ilia on Monday, May 13, 2013 | Permalink
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Comments (10)
What an idiot...glad Jerk didn't just go along with it at least.
Posted by: Slave of Arch | Monday, May 13, 2013 at 06:23 PM
Boom!!! Headshot! Glad Jerk backed you up on it and kicked his sorry arse out.
Posted by: hardwarenutz | Monday, May 13, 2013 at 07:27 PM
YEEEESSSS! I don't know why the manager's nickname is Jerk, but he just scored Retail Balls points with me.
Posted by: CoG | Monday, May 13, 2013 at 07:41 PM
CoG, he insisted on trying to make me work when I was literally so sick I was spending all my time in the bathroom throwing up, a few months ago. My other manager, "Smart", interceded and sent me home. Jerk isn't the brightest light on the porch, but he hates homophobes because of his brother, so in this situation it was a good thing he was on duty.
Posted by: The Last Archimedean | Monday, May 13, 2013 at 08:26 PM
Woohoo! Jerk is Friend of Dorothy!
Oh and Last Archimedean, you're really debauched party animal Tucker Max, aren't you? Admit it! :P
Posted by: Queer "Bilbo Baggins" Geek | Monday, May 13, 2013 at 08:31 PM
It was my cousin's idea, QG, but it worked out pretty well. It got to the point where when he saw us entering, the bartender would have our drinks ready by the time we got to the counter. And the other gay couples were amazingly awesome, the nicest people you'll ever meet.
Posted by: The Last Archimedean | Monday, May 13, 2013 at 08:42 PM
He was probably so stunned because no one had ever said that to him. When people don't put others to shame for their terrible actions, they think it's ok and do it louder next time.
And by put to shame, I mean exactly what happened. Go your manager!
Posted by: Scuffed Truffles | Monday, May 13, 2013 at 09:59 PM
It amazes me that people think yelling slurs or cussing at you is going to get them anywhere. I try to live by the motto "being polite has never killed anyone. Now, being impolite gets people killed all the time..."
Posted by: Sandman2010 | Tuesday, May 14, 2013 at 06:30 AM
I'm amazed that guy left with all his teeth in his mouth.
Posted by: NC Tony | Tuesday, May 14, 2013 at 03:24 PM
I had a couple leave my home because they used the term "beaner". I would be MUCH less forgiving if they had used and gay slurs. Cue my foot in their asses on the way out the door. You do NOT mess with my gay friends in any way.
Posted by: Book Baby | Wednesday, May 15, 2013 at 12:37 AM